Twin Brothers

14

News has spread across the kingdom rather quickly: Uther Pendragon falls bedridden after sudden illness takes over. Some theorize the neighboring King had something to do with it. Some believe he caught it from a servant coming too close to him. Many think it's simply natural causes. Then, there are others that are dead set on me having something to do with it, but it's very few knights who think so. 

I overheard a conversation one day when in the stables. It was argument between Uthers little spies. A majority don't think I'm even capable of doing something so sneaky without their knowledge because they "kept such a close eye" on me since I've come back. The others couldn't be convinced. A few servants were at the meeting, too, including the girl I set on fire. She's the only one who remained silent throughout the whole thing. 

 Anyway, there's been talk about whether or not Uther will get better. Many are afraid, but won't speak up about it. At least not directly. Even they don't believe Arthur is ready to become King of Camelot. He still has a lot of growing up to do. I agree, unfortunately. He's not ready. 

Here I go again. Sometimes I just can't shake off this feeling. Why won't it just leave me alone? Guilt. What a feeling. It seems to always prevent me from doing what needs to be done. It twists my insides until I feel absolutely sick. I hesitate. Why am I hesitating? Stop hesitating, Merlin! What is wrong with me?

Morgana's army is almost here. They should be here by tonight. Tonight Uther will die while he's at his lowest point of this sickness. Morgana will do it herself. I'll remain at Gaius' side until it's over. I still need to grab the keys.

I watch Arthur as he stands at his window, staring outside. He hasn't said much since his father fell ill. Gaius wasn't able to explain it. Arthur called in other physicians across the kingdom for second opinions. No one could explain it. Gaius suspects magic, of course, and in most cases, only magic can cure whatever it is. Arthur's been pondering this since Gaius first told him. I'd be surprised if he went looking for an answer somewhere he wasn't supposed to be looking in the first place. Although, part of me screams that he'd try anything for the ones he loves. I'm trying my hardest to ignore it. If I give in, the guilt will eat me up alive. It's best to block out my emotions. That's what Morgana did. Why can't I do it as well?

The silence of the room is beginning to get to me by now. I can tell Arthur is conflicted. No one knows where his fathers sudden illness has come from. No one knows what it even is or what to do about it. From his look, Arthur is seriously considering magic. 

'He will never go for it. Magic is evil to him. Remember?'

Shaking my thoughts away as best I could, I looked away. Instead, my gaze fell upon his bedside table where he stores his keys. How do I get them without him noticing? It's too quiet even if he isn't looking my way. He'd hear the jingle easily. Many thoughts entered my mind as I contemplated a plan. 

"Merlin?" a small voice echoed throughout the chambers. My head snapped back to the crown prince. His eyes fixated on me. He glanced at the bedside table quickly before looking at me. For a long moment, I believed I was caught, and I had thought of every excuse I could think of, but none sounded convincing. 

"Yes, Sire?" I asked quickly. He paused as if gathering his thoughts. 

"What do you think is causing my fathers sickness?" I stared at him longer than I wish to admit. Why is he asking me, a servant, someone who's not meant to have a voice?

"I-I don't–" my eyebrows crunched together as my tongue felt like it hasn't worked in months, "I'm not sure... how to–I don't know, Sire. There have been many speculations," I stated hoping he wouldn't ask me anymore what I thought. I wasn't so sure I knew myself what my true thoughts were.