RobertIDYandere - A RobertIDK fanfic - [Complete ✓]

Phan Overboard!

Lol get it. Man overboard? Phan Overboard! I hate myself.

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One month after killing Markimoo . . .

'Goin' on a cruise lol so pumped!' Robert sings as he drives to the cruise ship. 

He looks at his phone, while still driving (bad Robert!!). He finds Dan's tweet from the other day. "Mother of God, Phil just booked a cruise. Let's see how much I'll suffer on this trip! Strap yourselves in, could be wild!"

He then flicks to Phil's twitter. "BOOKED A CRUISE! I'm so excited!!! 😆😆😆" reads the first tweet. His Good Friend Owen worked for three days straight (gay) to find out when and where they're leaving. Isn't he such a good . . . friend?

Robert booked his own cruise ticket, hoping that Owen had gotten it right. He should have the right one, considering Owen is a part of the SSSO and knows everything about anyone.

Robert was driving to the port now, ready to jump on a boat and end Dan and Phil's life. He had to decide how though. Surely he couldn't stab them. He couldn't take a weapon on board, and besides, there'd be so much blood. Though he could wash it away with the waves - THE WAVES!!!

Robert has a metaphorical lightbulb going off in his head, just like he did when he came up with the rad fidget spinner video (once upon a child). He could push them over into the waves and they'd drown! YAY! 

_______

At eight o'clock that night, Robert goes slips a note under a door. It's the door of Dan and Phil's room on the cruise ship. He knows this because he stalked them there. From behind the door there are loud noises, kind of like a pig . . . screaming . . . or something. But that's not important. Robert reads over the note one last time:

Dan and Phil,

Hello. I'm a mysterious person writing to you to ask you to meet me at the back of the boat tonight. You know, the part of the boat where no one can see and where it's dark and the railing is low? Meet me there at midnight. I know I'm mysterious, but, like, I promise you can 10/10 trust me!

From Ro- I mean, Mysterious Person. 

(p.s: you should sub to RobertIDK on Youtube, he's cool as)

Perfect!

_____

At a few minutes to midnight that night, RobertIDK walks over to the deck. He has dark glasses and has shaved (babyface yas) so no one could ever know who it was! Dan and Phil seem to have gotten there first, based on the funny noises Robert can hear coming from the back of the boat. It sounds like they're slurping some yummy smoothies!

Robert goes around the corner and the two older boys jump apart. Dan's eyes are very wide, but Robert can not see this, because as Robert said in his letter, the back of the boat is dark. Robert can see their hands though (because they're so gosh darn pale!!) and notices no cups in their hands. They must of littered in the ocean!

'K-kiss? What kiss,' Dan laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Phil giggles, and is blushing. Robert doesn't see this, of course. Phil stops because Dan kicks him. Robert doesn't know why, but he decides it doesn't matter anyway. He's here to murder them for SENPAI Jack, not to care about Dan's foot's intentions! 'So, um, mysterious person, why did you ask us here? Do you . . . know something?' Dan kicks him again. Abusive much?!

'I only know of my love for JackSepticEye,' Robert says. He was meant to say it in his head, but thinking of his love makes his brain go all weird, so it was said out loud.

'Oh?' Dan says, looking awkwardly towards Phil. 'Cool? But, I recognise your voice - wait! Are you that dude that makes songs fangirling over us? RobertID . . . RobertIDK! That's why you said to sub to you at the end of the note!' Dan sounds proud of his astounding reasoning.

'I fanboy not fangirl, f*ck you, Daniel Howell.' Robert sighs. 'But, yeah, it's me. And did you sub to me?'

Phil nods, 'yep! Quality content mate. Those fidget spinners and Try Not to Dab Challenges. Wow, man!'

'Thanks,' Robert smiles. But then his face turns dark. 'Unfortunately, I have to kill you now.'

Dan and Phil look at each other and gasp. They are shocked. 'Why?' they say in accidental chorus. 

'Because I love Jack, that's why?'

'Makes sense,' Phil says.

'So, like, I'm not going to tell you how I'm going to kill you, because it needs to be shocking. Okay?'

'Okay,' Dan shrugs. 'I've been waiting for the sweet relief of death anyways.'

'WHAT?' Robert and Phil yell. 

Dan throws his hand up. 'I'm joking! It's a meme, okay? I'm sorry.' He then kisses Phil to make him smile again. Robert sure didn't see that coming!

'Wait, so you two are actually dating?'

Dan shrugs. 'Yeah, lol.' Phil nods, slipping his arm around his (cute, freckled) boyfriend.

Robert lets out a big, fangirl-y scream. After an awkward pause, he says, 'So, I guess I'll kill you now?' He rocks back and forth on his heels, waiting for a reply from either of the other two boys.

They just shrug, again. 'We don't do any exercise, we can't stop you, lol,' Dan laughs sadly.

Robert rushes forward out of nowhere and pushes Phil over the rail into the water. Wow, he's still crazily strong!

'NUUUUUU, MY BEAUTIFUL SENPAI-DADDY!!!!' Dan screams.

Robert goes to push him, but Dan shoves him back and sits down and cries.

'Look, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get my own SENPAI, okay?' Robert tries to soothe him.

Dan stops crying abruptly and looks up. 'I understand,' he says, emotionlessly. 'Meanwhile, mine is drowning. I must be with him. We are Romeo and Juliet. Wait, no.' He takes a breath collecting himself. 'We are Romeo and Julian.'

He stands up where the railing is super low. He spreads his arms wide, turning his head slightly to look at Robert. 'I need to be with my SENPAI-DADDY, Phil. Push me!'

Robert hesitates before pushing him. He almost feels bad for the British meme-boi. But then again, he's with his boyfriend now and Robert is closer to Jack!

Now to enjoy the rest of this cruise and then . . . kill Jack's girlfriend!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#this #chapter #was #a #meme. ((Robert's Don't Cry, Craft came on in the part where Dan cried LMAOOOO. Then Broken Home by 5SOS. Didn't want to cry, but it's fine.)) p.s: I'm sorry xo