Can I ever forgive? [MAJOR EDITING]

Introduction

Hi, my name is Claire Sutton, I am 11 years old, and I don't like my life. I go to a school that only teaches primary education, I am in year 5 now. I don't like my name very much, my classmates tell me I have a terrible name. They pronounce my name as Claeor, I don't blame them though, I do have a very weird name. I've been called Claeor since I was in year 1, the teacher called out my name as Claeor during registration on the first day of school, and everyone laughed, I slowly raised my hand, showing to my teacher that I am in class, and everyone stared at me, still laughing at my name, I saw a few of them whisper to each other, but I didn't hear it from the front of the class. Since then, the nickname stuck.

I'm in year 5 now, I no longer sit at the front of the class, ever since that first day of school, I chose to sit at the corner seat at the back of the classroom, alone. I like it back here, it's harder for people to notice me.

The whole school makes fun of me for my name now, even the teachers, that's what I'm known for in my school, a funny name. I really don't like my name, I asked mother to change my name to something else, something nicer, anything, but she said no, something about my birth cirtificate. I think she calls me that because she think it's funny, she doesn't actually like me, she hates me, if not then why would she name me this? And why would she not change it when I asked her to?

"I love your name, Claire." mother will always tell me. She always called me by my name. I hated that. I didn't want anything to do with that name at all. It's disgusting, why would she say she loves my name? She's lying, she doesn't like my name, she wants me to suffer because she lost father, she hates me.

My friends tell me I'm weird. They make jokes about me and laugh at me, their jokes always have something to do with me, sometimes the things they say can be very hurtful, I wasn't laughing, but they were, I guess they think I'm funny. I once asked them why they make fun of me, they told me it was because I am their friend. It was nice being told that I was someone's friend, but I wonder why my friends are so mean, it got a bit annoying at times, but I kept quiet, I didn't want them to get mad. They invite me to their parties, where they would sometimes physically hurt me and laugh at me, I didn't like that very much, but that's what friends do, right? But why were they nice to each other, and so mean to me?

I feel different from the others. They treat me differently, and I feel like I act and think differently. I would say I don't fit in, but if it takes being hurt and laughed at to fit in, then so be it.

You see, I don't really have anyone else.

My father left me and my mother before I was even born, saying he didn't want anything got to do with us. I haven't met him before, he never came to visit. He didn't really want a child, he didn't want me, he doesn't love me, in fact, he hates me. Sutton... that's all I know about him, and it's all I got from him. I don't understand all this, father doesn't care about me, why should I have to have his surname? Why should I even call him father?

My mother named me this horrifying name because of that, she doesn't like me either, I think my father left because of me. I hardly ever get to see my mother, she's always busy with work, she only comes home late at night to sleep, then the next day she would wake up early in the morning to go to work. She never spends time with me, she always leaves me home alone, it gets boring with no one around, I don't blame her though, I wouldn't want to stay at home with me either. I am a very independent child for a 11 year old, I have to do all my homework all by myself, even if I don't know how, I have to. I also have to cook for myself, if not, then I won't get to eat anything. I wash my own dishes. I have to help my mother do all the housework for both of us, I do the washing, the ironing, the sweeping, the mopping, I make sure the whole house is clean, let's just say I have to do all the chores that a housewife would normally do. I have school on top of all that. My days are long and stressful, I wish mother was here to help me, but she isn't, she never has been.

I have no siblings, since father left before his first child was even born. I have no one at home to care for me, no one at home to teach me my homework, no one to eat with, no one to play with me, no one to spend time with, I'm always alone at home, growing up all by myself.

I don't very much fancy school life either, my teachers would always make fun of me making the whole class laugh at me, they blame me for stuff I didn't do, and they call me a cry baby when I cry, my classmates would call me that too because of the teachers. I hated it.

Hi, my name is Claire Sutton, I am 11 years old, and this is my life.

I have nothing against the name Claire, in fact, I have an aunty called Claire, she's really nice, I just needed a name. Thanks for reading!

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