The Bad and The Broken

Chapter 44

Not edited. I am extremely nervous to publish this omg

Dawn's

It's been a week. A week since I've seen Ryder. A week since I've talked to Ryder. A week since I've been in school. A week of staying at home all day long with my father because he has the week off. A week of nonstop hell.

I couldn't face Ryder after what happened, he'd want me to talk to him and I just can't do that.

I'm such a coward.

Father told me I could stay home for the week, but- of course-  there's a price.

He brings the belt down one more time and then leaves. He hasn't hit me in the face at all.

When he's done, I go back to my room.

You may think I'm absolutely bonkers for choosing this over going to school and facing Ryder. But Ryder knows way too much now. He knows I talk, and he has a clue something has happened to me or is happening to me. Plus, I'm going to get a beating either way. When he's doing during the day, he doesn't bother me at night.

It's still hard to believe I lost my shit like that, I usually have a handle on myself... I don't know what happened.

Ryder's

She hasn't been to school all week after what happened.

I think back to it, thinking of all the possible things I wish I had done different to avoid what I did to her.

I finally get hold of her hand and whip her around. It was rough, and it probably hurt her, but I'll apologize for that later.

I didn't get to.

Her hair is now out of her face, showing a very swollen, very bruised eye.

I feel myself get cold. Deadly cold.

Someone hit her. Someone hit her in the face. Who the fuck-

"Who the fuck did that to you, Dawn," I say in a deadly tone.

She breathes harder than she already was, and trashes around until I finally lose my grip.

She runs into the restroom and I run after her, but not quick enough because she had locked the stall door before I could get her.

I pound on the door, too angry to think about my actions.

"Open the fucking door now, Dawn!" I yell, "Who the hell did that!"

I keep pounding and pounding.

"Dawn!"

I pound some more, but stop when I hear a terrified voice cry out.

"Stop stop stop!"

I hear her gasping for air, and it takes me a minutes to realize it was Dawn.

"Get off! Stop! Stop!" She yells again, and I feel my heart break.

She keeps yelling, and I ram into the door, trying to bust it open.

After about 3 painful rams, the lock finally broke and I opened the door.

Her arms are over her head, as if she's trying to protect herself, and she rocks back and forth while yelling.

My heart skipped a beat as I looked at her. She was so scared.

I fall to my knees and wrap her in my arms, but she started to thrash around.

She yelled more, "Stop! Please! Stop! Get off!"

It's then that I see her eyes are closed.

I remember her last panic attack.

She doesn't know it's me. She doesn't know where she is. In this moment, she's somewhere else.

"Dawn, it's me," I try to say calmly, but you could still hear my panic.

"Dawn, baby, calm down. It's me. It's Ryder."

Her eyes suddenly pop open and she looks as panicked as I am.

I put my head in my hands and think about it all over again.

What happened to her?

I feel anger bubble inside me. Someone has hurt her. Someone has hurt her bad. Someone has causes her so much pain.

When she left me in the parking lot, I couldn't even think straight. Her voice. I can't even think about her voice. It was so broken and scared when I heard it, I don't want to think about it. One thing I've dreamt of was to hear her voice. Now I wish I didn't. I wish I could go back in time or erase the memory of how it sounded. How terrified it was. How petrified she was.

I didn't want to remember her voice like that, but she wouldn't say anything when I pleaded her to in the parking lot.

I want to go to her house. I want to see her. I want to tell her I'm sorry. But I won't. I should give her some space.

After third period, I ditched school, but decided to go back at the end of the day to see Jesse and ask him how Dawn is.

Until then, I go to the gym.