Black Soda Drink [exo]

II

That evening, I was sitting in Kris’s car with my bags. I even packed Yixing’s things even though I found that he barely had anything left. What had happened to him in the last months? Was it because of me?

I had offered to drive. Kris took a short nap on my couch but he didn’t look any better. We barely spoke to each other all day, not even during our small lunch. It was awkward and I wished I had had the courage to talk to him more often before all this happened.

But what does one talk about during these times anyway?

He pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building and the two of us lugged all my suitcases into the elevator. “I got it,” he would mutter every time I tried to grab one of the heavier bags.

I walked behind him to his apartment. Unit 1004. Cheon-sa, or angel. That was one of the first things I learned when I came to this country. My friends explained it to me when they giggled at a sign in front of a store. I smiled. Maybe Kris was an angel sent to Earth.

Just looking at him, it wasn’t hard to believe. No man I’d ever seen was that attractive, so he had to be from another dimension.

His eye caught mine as he dug around for his keys. He gave me a sad smile. “You’re pretty strong.”

I looked down at the bags in my hands. “These aren’t heavy at all.” They were nothing compared to the stuffed duffel bags and suitcases he had insisted on carrying.

“No, I mean you haven’t cried at all. You’re a lot stronger than me.”

I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t. I wanted to cry so badly but I couldn’t do it in front of him. Besides, he had gone through enough today and deserved to shed tears. But my words were cut off when he opened his door.

I nearly choked. “It’s a mess,” I blurted out.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Sit for a bit while I clear out my room.”

He left me standing in the middle of his living room. My hands itched to clean everything up for him. That would keep my mind off of Yixing.

I started by throwing away little wrappers and empty cans of soda. I didn’t touch the papers on the coffee table, and I placed all the shoes carefully by the door. Kris still hadn’t come out from his room so I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed a mop I found in the coat closet. It looked like it’d been used only once before.

I piled up his clothes on the couch and wiped the hardwood floor, crouching down to scrub away something that resembled gum or sticky tack. I hoped it was the latter.

For a guy who usually hung around my apartment, Kris sure was a messy man. I flattened myself against the ground and reached for all the dirt underneath the couch. I grimaced at the fact that there was a dried noodle waiting for me.

“Whoa…” came a deep voice behind me.

Great.

I quickly stood up and tried to put on a smile as Kris looked at his living room. “Sorry, I just thought I should thank you for letting me stay here. I made sure not to touch anything important and your clothes are all right there.” I pointed at the couch. “You can sort through them and tell me which ones need washing.”

He still looked dazed. “Wow, I can see my floor.”

I laughed. “It was pretty dusty but your mop is…good. Yeah, you have a good mop.” What was I saying?

But then Kris glared at me. My worry suddenly spiked. Shouldn’t he be happy that I cleaned for him?

“You didn’t have to do that,” he grumbled.

I pushed out my bottom lip. “If I’m going to live here, I should have my own chores to do. I can’t just live off of you like a leech.”

“You’re going to be my roommate, not my maid.”

My eyes widened at the word “maid.” Imagine being Kris’s maid. With a frilly costume and apron and—

“Bring your stuff.” He turned and walked back toward his room.

I snapped out of my fantasy and dropped the mop, pulling my suitcases behind me. The room that he led me to was small and it looked like it was the only bedroom in the apartment.

The bed was big but then I remembered Kris was a big guy. My ears burned. We weren’t going to share this bed, were we? I mean, it was big enough but we were just roommates!

“I cleaned it as best as I could and I’ll move my clothes out of the closet tomorrow. The washroom is the first door before the living room and if you need anything, just call me. By the way, the outlet’s right beside the nightstand so you can charge your phone there. Good night.”

“Wait,” I said when he was about to close the door. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“On the couch,” he replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. Which it was when I thought about it.

The door closed and I sat down on the bed. I was too tired to shower and I realized that I was already starting to cry. It was a lot harder to hold back the tears when Kris wasn’t around to distract me.

I changed into my pajamas and crawled onto the soft bed, burying my face into the pillow. I didn’t know what Kris smelled like until now. I felt a little creepy sniffing his sheets but nobody would know. Soon, my tears were soaking through and the smell was fading.

I curled into a ball.

My brother was gone.