Black Soda Drink [exo]

III

I could hear footsteps. Yixing was probably getting ready for work which meant I still had about half an hour to sleep. Good thing my bed was extra soft today.

There was a knock on my door but my eyes would barely open. They seemed to be glued shut.

“Yuan,” the voice called.

I wanted to ask Yixing why he sounded so much like Kris. Wait, maybe Kris was at my house again and he came into my room. Shit.

I covered my face with the covers.

“I’m going to work, okay?” His voice was much closer now and I felt a hand softly patting my head. “I left my number and Wifi password on the table so add it to your phone. There’s also a bunch of menus on the fridge so order whatever you’d like, got it?”

I was so confused that I forced my eyes to open and peek out from under the covers. It really was Kris.

“What?” I asked.

He gave a smile and I wanted to hide again. It was too early in the morning for heart flutters.

“It’s okay. Just take it easy today. I’ll be back by noon to check up on you.”

“What about you?” I asked even though my throat protested. I sounded like a frog.

He leaned closer to me. “What about me?”

“Who will check up on you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said and I was sure he was smiling at how stupid I looked.

I frowned as he left, closing the door softly behind him. My stomach growled and I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday’s lunch.

Then yesterday’s events all came rushing back.

I didn’t want to cry anymore, especially not on Kris’s bed. It had already seen enough tears last night and I grimaced at how much I sobbed. It had only been a day and I felt like a burden already.

The clock on the wall told me I had about five hours before Kris would be back. I should start looking for a job. But first, a shower.

Coffee sounded pretty good, too, and so did the rice porridge that was advertised on a flyer stuck to his fridge. Should I order lunch, too?

I toyed with the idea of cooking for Kris but I didn’t want to make a mess of the kitchen. And what if he went out with his coworkers to eat like Yixing used to do? Then I would look really stupid.

A thought hit me as I stepped into the shower. I never got to ask what had really happened to Yixing. The last time I talked to him, he said he was meeting some friends to have dinner and that he would be home late.

Then Kris came the next morning to tell me my brother had jumped off a bridge. My eyes stung as I wondered what had pushed Yixing to do that. It could’ve been anything but I couldn’t stop thinking that it was me.

I had moved in nearly a year ago, when my parents forced me to live with Yixing so I could finish my last year of university here. I had wanted to live on residence but it was too expensive. He seemed happy to take me in, but let’s be real: how happy could a brother be when he has to babysit his little sister 24/7?

In the middle of my shower, I realized I had forgotten my soap and shampoo. I wrapped a towel around myself and dashed to the bedroom. I would have to mop up my trail of water later but good thing Kris has a good mop.

I rolled my eyes at myself. Out of all the things I managed to compliment him on, I complimented his mop.

Finally, I finished my shower and ordered some food before opening my laptop. I had scripts to finish and a job to find.

-

Half past noon, I heard the key to the front door turn. Kris walked in and, no surprise, my heart picked up its pace.

“Hey,” he said before kicking off his shoes. He loosened his tie and placed a plastic bag on the coffee table in front of me before taking a seat. I scooched over.

My eyes widened as he emptied the bag. He handed me a cup of bubble tea along with a straw and then began untying the ribbon that wrapped around a small box.

“Is this what you eat for lunch?” I asked, peering into the box. “Cake?”

He chuckled and shook his head before pulling out a carton of expensive ice cream. “No, but you have a long week ahead of you. Yixing used to tell me how much you like bubble tea, and girls always cheer up when they have chocolate, right?” He handed me a fork and I took a bite of the cake. It was rich, velvety chocolate.

“Thank you,” I muttered with the cake still in my mouth. I wanted to shout my gratitude to him but I was scared I was going to cry again. I had already cried too much in the last 24 hours.

“No problem,” he said, placing a spoon on top of the ice cream carton and then opening his own can of Cola. “You’re going to have to talk with your parents soon and figure out how to handle everything.”

“Oh…I haven’t even called them yet.” I felt like a horrible daughter at that moment. All I’d been worrying about was how to move on with my own life, and I didn’t even think about my parents one bit.

“You should do that soon. Moms tend to worry easily.”

I nodded and ate another bite of cake. “Thank you for all this again.” If it weren’t for Kris, I’d probably be balled up at home, still crying my eyes out.

He stood and walked to the kitchen, pulling out something from the fridge. “You don’t need to thank me.”

He was saying it out of politeness, but he would get tired of me soon enough. I was only his best friend’s sister after all, and now that his best friend was dead, I doubt he really wanted me around. While he looked a lot better than yesterday, there was still an air of gloom around him.

Did he blame himself for Yixing’s death just like I did?

He shouldn’t, though. My brother was always happy to have Kris around and sometimes I was jealous of the amount of time they spent together.

I wanted to tell Kris that he shouldn’t feel guilty about anything, but I couldn’t even convince myself.