Black Soda Drink [exo]

VII

I woke up to a crash in the kitchen the next morning. I imagined Kris muttering curses to himself and realized I should get up. I scrambled out of the sheets and to the kitchen, where I found Kris trying to stand up from the floor.

“What happened?”

He looked as tired as I felt, and I held his arm as he rubbed his neck. “Nothing. I just fell. Sorry for waking you.”

His eyes were barely open and I wondered why he was up so early when it was a Saturday. He didn’t have work today.

“Did you want something to eat?”

Kris shook his head. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

The sky was still dark outside and I pushed him towards the bedroom. It was his bed after all, and he should have first dibs on it. “Go sleep on the bed. I’ll make you some warm milk.”

“I’m fine, Yuan.”

“Kris,” I said his name in a voice that told him there was no point in arguing.

“Fine,” he grumbled and trudged to his room.

I warmed up some milk and brought it to him a minute later. He looked to be already asleep, so I left it on the nightstand beside him.

“Yuan?” he called right before I was about to turn to the door.

“Yes?” His brows were creased as if he was having a bad dream, and I knelt down beside him.

He opened his eyes only slightly. “Do you get nightmares?”

“Sometimes. Why?”

His tongue came out to lick his lips and then he closed his eyes again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Kris…” What was he saying? I patted his blond hair, the same way he would do for me.

“He told me to protect you but I think we got our roles reversed.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Yuan. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.”

My lips trembled when I realized he was blaming himself for Yixing’s death. He shouldn’t. It wasn’t his fault. It couldn’t have been his fault.

I leaned forward and kissed his brow. I didn’t know what else people did in these situations but it was painful to watch him suffer like this.

“Don’t be sorry, Kris. It’s not your fault.” I kept repeating that until he fell asleep, until I fell asleep kneeling beside him with my hand still in his hair and tears threatening to fall out of my eyes.

-

That night, I came back from dinner feeling pumped. I told Gura about how far I’d progressed with the script and she gave me a clearer deadline. I had another few weeks, which gave me enough time to go over it with Kris and possibly train him for a role.

“Kris?” I called his name as I entered the living room. He was sitting there with a photo album in his hands and I set down the plastic bag in front of him. “I hope you haven’t had dinner yet.”

“Why?” He closed the album and dug through the bag before I even sat down. I saw his eyes light up when he pulled out the Styrofoam box and a can of Cola.

“My friend and I went to Arirang, and I remembered you and Yixing used to go there all the time for their fried chicken and sweet potato cheesesticks.”

The smile on his face was so bright, I had to look away. I busied myself with forks and napkins as he spoke excitedly. “How did you know I was craving this stuff?” He bit a cheesestick and clapped his hand. “I think I could kiss you,” he said with his mouth full.