A Car Crash Can Change Someone's Life

Sunday, December 24

It's Christmas Eve and I'm at Brandon's house like planned. Yesterday we just chilled at his place. Today we did arts and crafts. Which was making our own stockings and decorating them, with names included. Brandon's was pretty good for a guy who doesn't do arts and crafts. After we finished we just chilled and watched tv while eating candy.

The whole night, I couldn't sleep at all. I kept having flashbacks of when I blacked out in the bathroom. For a split second, I thought it happened again right now, until I realized it was still just a flashback. But when I saw myself from camera view, it scared me even more because I saw myself, really pale at first and then becoming a strawberry in a split second. When I saw myself sweating and burning, I could almost feel the same thing. I was getting sweaty.

Then, I heard Brandon's voice, an echo, just like I was reliving the moment. But I didn't see him anywhere, and he was saying different words. When I woke up from the bathroom, I actually saw him but this time there was no one. I was all by myself with Brandon's echo. Chills ran down my back and I tried forcing myself out of the flashbacks, but I couldn't. I felt like I was closing my eyes and they were glued shut, so I couldn't open them. At this point, I thought I was having a strange nightmare with my flashback. But how? I've been awake the whole time. I then felt like I couldn't move. I saw myself moving in my flashback, but I felt like someone chained me on my bed, so I couldn't get up. I was scared, stone cold scared. The feeling when you lose your phone at a public place, but 10 times worse. Then, all of the pain flew into my body from my flashback of burning and Brandon's voice kept becoming louder, less echo.

I then sprung up from the bed, panting, sweating. I was so confused of what was going on. I thought I was awake the whole time? Was I dreaming the whole time? I must've been correct because I could actually see Brandon. I felt a tear burning down my face, slowly, and then a flood of tears streaming. I felt so embarassed, but also very scared. My teeth started to chatter and my hands were shaking.

I felt Brandon's hands on my shoulders, his face staring at me, so scared, he looked like he was literally going to have a heart attack. I try to take big, deep breaths, but it was only short, quivery ones. I've never felt anything like this before, that was the scariest part. I feel frozen, although my teeth are chattering and my hands shaking. But I couldn't move. I was a like a deer in the headlights. My legs were stiff, but my face wasn't. Brandon looked confused for a second because my body wasn't moving. After a scary 10 minutes of my hands shaking and teeth chattering, I finally had a chance to say something.

"I - I, I'm ok-ay, I just had a nightmare." My voice still quivering.

"Sen! That was not just a nightmare! What happened? Are you okay? Sen, I think something is happening to you... I don't know what, but lately you've changed. When I see you walking down the halls, your hands are shaking. This all happened after the incident in the bathroom. Something's up and I think we should go to the doctor's and see if anything is wrong with you, okay?" He sounded worried, but I was more worried. I don't want to go to the doctor's, they lie, they don't help, and they tell you to come back sooner than you should, just so they get money.

"No, Brandon! We are not going to the doctor's! There's nothing wrong with me, okay? I'm fine now, it was just a nightmare, that's all." I shouted.

"I'm sorry Sen, and forgive me that I have to do this, but we're going." After I could say anything else, he picks me up like prom dates do, grabbed his phone and money, and took us to the doctor's.

We went to the waiting room after check-in, and not once did I look at Brandon. I just stared at the floor. He could tell I was mad at him, but he never bothered. I guess he wanted to help. But helping me is not taking me to the place I hate the most.

They finally called my name after waiting for 15 minutes. When we went into the room, I filled out a packet that asked about age and if I do drugs, allergies, all that stuff. Then the doctor came in a few minutes later, greeting both of us. He asked me what was going on with my hands shaking and nightmares, and feeling like my face was burning. I didn't say anything, so Brandon told the doctor. The doctor told us that it was normal and there was nothing wrong with me. He said I might be experiencing trauma, but a very small chance.

When we got into the car, I softly, but angrily told him, "I tried telling you Brandon, nothing's wrong with me. You're such a great friend to be there for me, but it doesn't mean you have to be worried and take me to the doctor's."

"Yeah Sen, you're totally right. I should be a good friend by not caring about you," he said, a little anger in his voice and sarcastic.

"But I'm sorry Sen, you're just going to have to live with it, okay? I'm sorry that I'm one of those overprotective friends... I just don't want to lose you." he softly said, trying to comfort me and make a point. He was right though.

"Brandon, you're not going to lose me, okay? I will be here the whole time with you, I won't leave your side, I promise."

"That's the thing Sen. You'll be there for me, but you won't let me be there for you?"

I didn't say anything else because he was right. He reached his hand to put it in mine. I smiled at him, and so did he. I was glad to have a friend like him.