Rhiannon

Part 8: The Last Summer

My last summer on Earth came and went in the blink of an eye. My entire family, even my siblings all treated me very well, but I knew that was because they probably believed I didn't have a chance at surviving Providence let alone becoming a soldier. Though the weather was warm and sunny, and I had fun at the beach just like my mother had promised, there was always a dark cloud over my heart, a dread I couldn't shake of the unknown future. I tried to enjoy myself, I really did. Even on the best of days, I couldn't fully focus on the present time, and instead I worried about the years to come. It was impossible to live in the moment when the thought of leaving Earth kept popping into my head without invitation. My family made a point not to bring up Providence at all during summer break. Even when Phoebe messaged me from her own vacation, she never once mentioned space, which I appreciated. My mother was especially careful about not having anything around the house or our beach house that remotely resembled an object from space. We used to have a little toy rocket sitting on our kitchen counter, and a poster of the moon hanging in my brother's room. My mother threw both of those things away, and every time there was something on tv that mentioned outer space, my mother would change the channel immediately and no one would question her.

In previous years, I had a calendar in my room that I used to scratch off the days as they passed by. Now, I couldn't even look at my calendar because it was a constant reminder that September 1st would arrive eventually whether I was ready for it or not. Then came that fateful day, the last day of August. I was all packed and ready for the journey the next day. Well, I was physically ready, not exactly emotionally. I was sitting in the living room late at night next to my mother watching trashy reality tv. We both shared a blanket, and drank red whine. My mother let me have some because I wouldn't be on Earth when I turned twenty-one, so she figured she'd allow me a glass before I left. I didn't usually drink, but this moment was special. We didn't say a word for the longest time. We just sat there as if we had all the time in the world to be silent with each other. I guess it was our last attempt at denial, and we were failing miserably.

"Um... Mom?" I asked. She winced. I realized that she had been zoned out and wasn't actually paying attention to what was going on in the show. "Are Glenn, Carina, Dad, and you coming tomorrow to drive me to the rocket station?" My mother nodded silently. Though I could tell she was listening, she still had a glazed look in her eyes. "Do you think there'll be traffic?" I asked making a small attempt at a conversation. My mother shrugged, still facing the screen with her blank expression. I sighed. "I'm really tired. I think I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight, Mom! I love you!" I said. As I rose from my seat, my mother grabbed my arm.

"Goodnight, sweetie! I love you too! I'm so very proud of you!" she said looking straight into my eyes with a pained expression. I hugged long her tightly before making my way upstairs to my room.