A Slow Dance With Reality

We Were Never Close

Lauren slept. And slept. She felt a slight movement atop her, Camila moving to get comfortable on the couch as she lay on the green eyed girl, and slept some more. A now cold soup bowl sat at the coffee table, the TV had been left on, the main menu to West Side Story playing over and over, and the fireplace spat with the sounds of a finally dying flame.

It was a home, and it was the best feeling Lauren had ever been witness too. She'd felt her first fireplace, ate her first bowl of soup made specifically for her to feel better, was serenaded by a brunette.

And she smiled.

For the first time in about a month, Lauren Jauregui smiled. And she felt. She felt a lot. She felt safe, warm, every feeling she'd ever felt with Camila. But a new one came, just as she heard the front door opening.

Loved.

Lauren Jauregui felt loved. And not in a odd 'this isn't right' way, but a way she'd never quite experienced before. This girl that she bullied for so long cared for her in a way Lauren had never been cared for, and oh God it felt good. Lauren would never give it up. She'd never force it away. That feeling was one she'd cherish her whole life. One she'd never forget and never regret. One she­

"What in Heaven's name!" came a booming voice from the front door, causing both girls to jolt. Unfortunately Lauren jolted with her abdomen and Camila only with her hands. Pale and tan skin met in the most painful of ways as their head bonked against each other and they both groaned. "Get from under my daughter!" The man shouted again, making Lauren feel yet another sliver of something. Fear.

She did all she could to scurry off the couch, landing flat on her buttocks with a thump before making the mistake of looking Alejandro Cabello right in the eyes. Lauren gulped as he towered over her, a tall man with deep brown eyes and a terrifying glare. "Camila Cabello, get to your room."

"Daddy-"

"Room!"

"Daddy it's not what you think, we were just sleeping."

"Together."

"Well, yes, but not like you think. Lauren was just tired, and....well it's a tad complicated but-­"

"Room. Now. And you, I suggest you get to your own real quick." Alejandro scolded, his glare stuck on Lauren as she sat frozen in place. At least until the man cocked a brow and she shuffled to her feet.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir." She mumbled almost incoherently as she looked around, wondering if she had anything to collect. Which she didn't. Because her and Camila hadn't done anything. Though it certainly felt like it. It felt like they had gotten caught in a disgustingly intimate moment. And they did. Camila Cabello was laying on top of Lauren Jauregui and Lauren's fingers were clinging to her shirt. It was intimate. But it was safe. And now the safety was gone. And Lauren was walking to her truck in a cold drizzle, heading to a place she so desperately didn't want to be. She'd only be taunted by the differences in her own home compared to Camila's.

But what was she going to do? Stay at the Cabello's for good? Clearly that wasn't even an option if 'Daddy' had anything to say about it.

A thought dawned on Lauren. Alejandro was angry. More angry than she'd ever imagine someone in Camila's family to be. Could he have...would he have laid a hand on her?

[Lauren Jauregui:]
Are you okay?

[Camila Cabello:]
Fine. Just infuriated with my father at the moment. I'm sorry. When dad gets home I'll explain to him. He's far more level headed, and daddy will listen to him.

[Lauren Jauregui:]

You don't have to.

[Camila Cabello:]
I'm going to. Text me if you need anything Lauren. But not until you've gone home. No texting while driving. I can't lose my knight in shining armor.

It stuck somehow. The last sentence. Someone relied on Lauren. At least one person did. Camila couldn't. She couldn't lose Lauren. It stuck in a way Lauren wasn't sure it should. Had it been anyone else, Lauren would have cracked. But it was Camila, and she knew Lauren. She knew Lauren even when Lauren didn't know her own self. It amazed her. And perhaps that was where the security came from. Camila saw something that Lauren couldn't; which meant Camila was worth it. Camila was worth living for. If only to figure out what it was that she saw.

When Lauren reached her house, Clara's car wasn't there, though that wasn't surprising for the Jauregui's at all. Lauren was almost always left alone on Friday nights. Mike went to some kind of bar, then a hotel, and then who knew where and Clara tried her best to stay out of the house nearly every day.

Mike probably got dropped off, and went bar hopping while mom ran errands. He'd call to be picked up and the night would end and a new day would begin. Although, new didn't seem to be the right word. Could it really be a new day if the routine was the same?

Lauren doubted it, and as she sat down on her own couch, overstuffed and dusty in contrast to the lumpy one she slept on earlier, she thought about how routine her days had become. Today had been the only break. The first break in the routine and even then it still felt so...rehearsed. Not the panic attack or the sleeping with Camila wrapped above her, but the finding comfort in the girl, the lack of protecting Lauren was doing. She'd successfully kept Camila safe, and now only existed so no one dared to break this streak. But that didn't seem to be right either. She didn't just exist to be that buffer, but instead existed because Camila was hers. Camila was Lauren's buffer between never­ending sorrow and security.

The room was lost in a silence that Lauren had somehow grown used to and yet felt so foreign in now. The booming voice of Alejandro Cabello still echoing in her head. The assumptions he made and how she hadn't even flinched at them. She was already a disgrace in her own family so why not someone else's as well? And still, even with the thought of not caring what Camila's dad thought of her, Lauren found herself praying that Camila would fix it. Lauren needed that safety, that warmth. Camila fit so perfectly in her when they slept. She wasn't too heavy, and when the brunette dozed off, Lauren could hear the light snore Camila Cabello gave.

It was hypnotizing, and that alone had helped Lauren lull herself into a slumber. She prayed her memory was strong enough to recreate such a sound. The quiet snore that Camila had. It was quite the adorable sound, a sound one would have never guessed the starlet to have. It seemed Camila was full of pleasant surprises.

The silence became ignored, Lauren's mind making enough noise for once to somehow fill it in. She thought about texting the girl once more, bringing back that blanket of warmth through her phone, but wasn't sure if it were such a great idea. She hadn't a clue as to what could be going on at the Cabello home right now. Camila could be smack dab in the middle of fixing things, only to break because Lauren had texted her. The raven haired girl scoffed at the thought of Camila possibly making some kind of powerpoint, proving to her fathers the different reasons why Lauren and her hadn't and couldn't possibly be an item. It was just like Cabello, and that brought a smile to Lauren's face again. A smile she held until she walked to her room, forgetting about the game, ignoring the texts from Santana claiming she was taking over, and allowing her mind to take her back to that couch, back to the movie and the soup and the warmth.

It was hypnotizing all over again, listening to Camila's singing as the movie played. Remembering how wonderful the soup had tasted and felt as it slid down her throat. But the snoring. The snoring went right up there with that flash of white teeth of one of Lauren Jauregui's favorite memories. The light rumble, the sweet intakes, the beautiful hot air that poured from those nostrils and to Lauren's neck. Goose bumps erupted on pale skin as Lauren thought it all over. Every detail. Every breath. It was heaven. And it helped lull her into yet another slumber. Not as dreamless as the last but longer. And that would have to do for now.