One More Letter

To Ryan,

About Ryan: Ryan is probably going to read this. His name isn't Ryan, duh. Anyways, I only met this guy this year, and jeez. Ever heard that one song by Julia Michaels? Issues. (I'm just kidding, Ryan.) But seriously, this guy was in the same condition I was in when I first came to -that school that i go to-. He's really nice and one of the coolest, chillest guys I've met. Now, all that being said, let's go. 

Dear Ryan, 

I'm sorry for the stupid name, but I didn't have any other ideas. You can deal, buddy. Anyways, you are awesome. You do have flaws/issues/whatever, but don't we all? It's kind of stupid to fret over them all the time. (The irony.. This coming from a freak show like me). You can be the next Michelangelo or something, because you're a great artist! I would've gotten you a paint set for your birthday but I'm poor so, yeah, sorry. You're practically the only boy in our friend group, but none of us complain, you fit in just fine. You're depressed. You've got anxiety. You have the self esteem of a walnut and me pointing this out probably isn't helping. 

I'm sorry. I'm not good at this, but I just want you to know that you are awesome and great and funny and life is good. Puppies and kittens and butterflies, happiness! Woo! 

That was weird. Maybe I should stop now while I'm ahead? Nah, let's make it worse. Let me tell you a story Ryan. Once upon a time, there was you. You were sad and alone, but then you came to my school. One of my friends knew you, and we became good friends. (I've friend-zoned you for life and you're so chill, thanks.) I comforted you when you cried, because you were hiding from other people. Manliness is a joke, Ryan. Boys are allowed to cry. You joined our group in band when we went to frontier city, and we rode a ride together by ourselves because everyone else abandoned us. Figures, right? I was cool with it, though you were extremely awkward. You always are, it's adorable. Once upon a time, I wasn't there for you. And you were sad. And I didn't even notice. I'm still so, so sorry. You were having a breakdown and I wasn't even there for you. I didn't even know. 

At first, when I met you, I didn't know you were as hurt and broken as you were. I think I might've broken you even more with my constant teasing and stuff. I probably seemed like a bully at the time, didn't I? You smiled and joked as I teased you. Then we became closer friends. You invited me to your birthday party. I went, and ended up being the only girl to show up! It was hilarious, your other friend's faces. I can still laugh out loud just imagining it at some points. 

Anyways, I'm rambling. This is dumb. Sorry, Ryan. Just, stop it, okay? Allow yourself to have emotion, and to have friends. If I've learned anything, it's that friends can help, even if they do seem like liabilities at some times. Text me any time, even if it's midnight.

Sincerely, your friend and freak, Apple.