One More Letter

To Katie (Again)

About: You've already seen the description. Go back and read the first one about her if you haven't.

Dear Katie,

So, I don't know whether to scream at you or cry in your arms. So instead, I've been burying my emotions since I found out. Here I am, writing you a letter that I hope you never find.

You're moving. 

I'm tearing up right now just looking at the words I just typed on my screen, but I have to see that. This seems so unreal. You were my first friend here, and you're going. You aren't going to be sitting at that lunch table next year, waiting for me, telling me stupid jokes so I'll smile. I won't be there to make you eat anymore. 

I'm being stupid right now, you know that? I'm crying. Crying at 11:00 pm on a Sunday night of summer. You'd punch me in the arm for saying that crying was stupid, because I know it's not. It helps you deal with your emotions. But for me, it's stupid. It's weak. Just for me though, nobody else. Crying is stupid, I wish I could stop. The screen is blurry now. 

You're moving. Moving far away to a new school and I won't see you again but I have your phone number. On the last day of school, you gave all of your friends a letter to say goodbye. You gave me one too, and a gift. Sometimes I really just want to say damn you Katie, because you don't have to give me anything special. But then you gave me something that's making tears once again come to my eyes.

Damn it. 

Katie, my glasses are wet now because of you. It's not your fault, I know. It's not, it's really not. Please don't feel bad for anything. It isn't your fault you have to move. It isn't your fault that your end of the year glow party was probably the last I'll go to. It's not. 

Katie, everyone loves you. Everyone, even those popular girls who would sneer at Emma. They're jealous that she gets to be friends with you, because they're too snotty to hang out with you. And Emma, don't worry too much about her. Well, that's stupid. You're best friends, you're going to worry for each other regardless. But really, I'll try to keep her out of trouble, and Jessica and Debbie will help. Or in other words, do most of the work. We will all miss you. Everyone I've written a letter to will miss you. And more.

You taught me how to dance. You were my band mom. You were the only person at that school that I considered my friend at the end of the year. You kept me and Grace from murdering each other, and you got a few bruises from that even (sorry, again). You dragged me away from being alone every time I tried (thanks, I guess). You're the whole reason I even have friends. Without you, I'd still be in my little cocoon, hissing at anyone who got close. 

I don't think I can say thank you enough times.  I miss you. Someday, I will see you again.

Love, your band daughter. 

P.S. I will make calls and make sure you are eating lunch. If you aren't, I'll pay a different teacher every day to throw granola bars at you each day. Don't you test me, you know I will.