musings

when

trigger warnings: none, as far as i can tell (unless you count my awful writing)

When will this begin?

I am impatient -

I am hovering in the space between "get set" and "go"

the second

that lasts

an eternity

my breath

cold in

my chest

and then it

starts and I

take off and

sprint for the

finish line

far away

reach it and

fall

When will this continue?

I am sobbing -

I am waiting for confirmation this is not the end

I wait

for more

because this

has been

my life

for so long

and it

can't be

over

can it?

And then there's

more and I

scream with

relief and I'm

happy again

because

it's not the

end

When will this die?

I am tear-streaked -

I am waiting and waiting for it to stop

I know

I wanted it

but not

any more

and then it

will not fall

will not stop

and I know

I have to

be the one

to

end

it

Goodbye

I leave