Adrift: A Little Mermaid Retelling

25: Agnes

[A temporary note for readers who are not new to the story: I revised Chapter 21 (the end) to introduce Dannie's gift. Feel free to re-read that chapter or to continue from here, as you wish. (: Thanks for reading Adrift!]

Captain Dremmer was a forgiving man—or so it seemed at first, when he chose me for his bride. As I have explained, I had no reputation for my homemaking skills. I am not pretty, nor shapely. Music was my only talent.

For him, my music was apparently enough.

They sent away to Oranslan for my gown. Sybill had made my mother's, with Father's fortunes still in bud, but now my family was wealthy and Sybill's poor hands were too gnarled with age for such delicate work. No one expected me to even try.

The dress was lovely. It was of silver silk overlaid with finest lace. The neckline was made to skim my shoulders, and it was embellished with tiny pearls. In its opulence it reminded me of my mother's comb, and I hated it.

Sybill helped me with my hair the morning I was wed. She fussed over my limp tresses until she had achieved an unexpectedly pleasing style: ringlets, braids, and strands of pearls all came together to elegant effect.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror with Sybill standing behind me, her hands on my naked shoulders. For the first time in my life, I felt beautiful, owing more to the silk and pearls than any beauty I myself possessed.

I approached my wedding with a sort of detached curiosity. It did not seem to be a momentous event; I felt as if someone else was living my life, as if I were simply watching from somewhere far removed. To marry was simply what girls did when they became women. Children, I supposed, would follow. I was unmoved by any of it: I was not happy, I was not sad, I was not angry. I simply was.

On our wedding day, I learned that Captain Dremmer's first name was Aroc. I wondered, gazing up at him as we stood with our hands linked, if he knew I was not untouched. Probably my brothers had guarded that secret with the utmost care. Then again, the colonies were not teeming with eligible brides; as they say, a poor man must take what's given.

The captain had never before been married, which put us on even ground in one respect, at least. In everything else, we differed. He was older than I, perhaps forty—I never asked. It never crossed my mind to wonder about his past life, his age, his passions. I knew him a little from our previous meetings, enough to recognize that he was a proud, upright man. I came to see over time that this impression was true: he ruled everything from his household to his facial hair with the same close attention and rigorous discipline as he exacted from his troops.

He had a handsome smile; I noticed that for the first time on our wedding day. Nothing else about him suggested warmth or love.

Our wedding took place outdoors, by the fields. Dervin performed the ceremony. In less time than it took for me to dress in the morning, with just a few simple words, my life was changed forever.

Captain Dremmer—Aroc—brushed my face with a dry kiss. He smelt of pungent shaving water; his bristling moustache tickled me. His hand in mine was warm, but hard.

We adjourned to the dining room, where Sorla and Sybill did my family proud with a dinner service beyond any I had ever seen. My family and our servants expressed nothing but happiness and well wishes toward me. I found it curious that all the folk around me should be happier than I was on my own wedding day, but this, too, I noticed with detachment; I could feel nothing except the sense that I should be feeling more.

When the dinner was over, my husband sent for his horse. He offered me his arm and led me out of my family's house for the last time.

"Be good to him," Wylliam said. He was smiling, but I sensed that his words were not as light as he made them sound. "Captain—take care of her. We wish you well."