Master of Ceremonies

Mortal Kombat anyone?

A year to the day of submitting my thesis, I had no response from the OGSR. I wrote a strongly-worded email asking why I was still being held in the programme despite jumping through every fiery hoop they required — like a damned circus animal. A few days after that, the OGSR officially contacted me. They told me that the reviews for my thesis had been completed, and I was now to simply contact my official supervisor to get him to sign a release form. I was also advised that if I wished to attend the graduation ceremony, I would have to sign-up two weeks in advance of a certain date.

I immediately contacted my idiot official supervisor and told him what I was instructed to do. He agreed to get the form written-up to get me released. Of course, I did not trust him.

The idiot supervisor made sure to not quickly get that document signed. Every time I saw him (over the period of a month), he was armed with a stupid excuse. This included his being a DJ at a party the department was hosting. Obviously, I was enraged, but I kept silent. I concluded that I needed to speak to the principal himself.

The principal's secretary kept saying "oh, dear", or "that's unfortunate" when I angrily spat potent venom against my official supervisor. She told me that it is best to not get the principal involved, as by the time the principal would be available to see me, my purpose of going to the graduation ceremony would have been defeated. She then advised me to speak to the head of the Office of Graduate Studies and Research. I informed her that that is the first thing I tried to do, but it was very difficult to get done. When she asked why, I told her that the OGSR staff told me that I needed to ask in writing, the document had to be signed by me and then reviewed by them to see if a meeting was necessary. She laughed at this, but I was dead serious. That was the natural wall of bureaucracy one has to face to get simple things done. She lightheartedly couldn't believe that I was told this. She merely asked me for my phone number and told me that she would return my call shortly. About twenty minutes later, she told me that I had a nine o'clock appointment with the head of Graduate Studies on the upcoming Friday. Well, that was easy.

I confidently stepped past an amazed OGSR staff member who sought to obstruct me on a different occasion. I went to the OGSR's Head's administrative assistant. I told her who I was, and she asked me to wait for a bit before seeing the Head.

The Head was quite cordial and very eager to hear from me about my postgraduate experience. I let her have it. I relayed most of the relevant bits of this story.

I wanted to know, why that little jackass, who had not been helpful in any way, was allowed to keep me from graduating. Why did he actively spend time blocking my progress instead of guiding me? The Head agreed. Her eyebrows rose when she heard that I was a published scientist. Why indeed was the man allowed to stop me? She reassured me that I should merely leave him alone, and give him exactly two weeks to sign the document, as there was still time for me to sign up for the graduation ceremony. If he still did not sign the document at that time, she said, "...he would be forced." I rose an eyebrow when she said that. I was quite pleased!

Surely enough, two weeks had passed. I asked the idiot supervisor one last time to sign my release forms. He did not respond. I wrote to the Head of the OGSR and informed her of his noncompliance. A few hours later, she replied: "He will have the form ready in three days." I laughed.

I wasn't there to see it, but I heard he had an official visit.