Master of Ceremonies

Can you please pass the Popcorn?

There was significant pressure mounted on Mr. MIT. Apparently, after more than two years, he still did not publish the grades for the research methodologies course he presented. My fellow students, without my knowledge or involvement, had protested at the Office of Graduate Studies and Research. As a result, he hastily put up the passing grades.

Months before I wrote my thesis, I had been scouted by an on-campus agency of some sort. Apparently, they had a job opening and somehow heard from multiple people that I was the very best at what I did. I wasted no time going to the interview. I asked the English Guy for a reference. A few months later, I was informed that I had gotten the job! I asked to begin work a month after I had written and submitted my thesis.

Before I could submit my thesis to the Office of Graduate Studies and Research, I had to consult with my idiot official supervisor, to ensure that my dissertation was suitable for examination. I also had to make sure that he found suitable examiners for my work. Forms had to be filled out months in advance and presented to the Office of Graduate Studies.

The idiot supervisor steadfastly moved to slow me down. He started to give me stupid chores, and kept coming up with excuse-after-excuse as to why he couldn't sit still long enough to look at my work! Every day, for the first two weeks in the month of June 2010, I asked him if he could look at my work. He kept putting me off —telling me "supervisors aren't paid to guide anyone!" He started to tell me something about some little undergraduate research —at which point I lost it! I began to tremble and shake as I shouted at him, "Which is greater? The work of an undergraduate, or a postgraduate?"

Why, in the hell, at the edge of my completion, where this man did nothing but waste my time, or sabotage me, is he being allowed to stop me? Why am I not being allowed to leave this stupid MPhil programme with my degree in my hand?!

He motioned me to follow him and he called the MPhil coordinator over. He started to complain about how lazy I was, and how he was getting complaints from every undergraduate (that encountered me); that I was one mean son of a bitch to them! How instead of helping the department, all I am ever seen doing is typing up (sic)"God he knows what" on a computer, and nobody can ever seem to find me when they need to get something done! "Hell, I even gave him a job to sit behind a camera, and film some of the students, and not even that he could do!" I laughed at this.

Hmm, when you are awake for days writing a thesis (that you have no guidance for) and are suddenly being asked to sit behind a camera, to do nothing but stare through the lens, of course you will fall asleep! It was superbly boring! The dude even made sure to record me while I was sleeping, and he made mention of that to the MPhil coordinator! Why'd he do that? He was covering his bases. He was essentially making a move against me, and he was playing dirty!

The idiot supervisor wanted to know why I was so awful, even though he helped me so much. He must be kidding! What the hell was he talking about? I asked, "Why is it that you have to try so hard to get this man to help you? You write something for him to look at, and even four months later you cannot get a peep out of him."

It was a very angry meeting.

At one point, he even said that if he felt like it, he might just decide he is not marking anything, and he slammed his fist on the MPhil coordinator's desk for emphasis! At that point, I had enough and ran him out the room with a fake apology; telling him that he can go back to looking at the work of the undergrad in which he was so interested. He immediately left, and I was all alone with the MPhil coordinator, seething.

That son of a bitch had set me up. He had planned a defense for himself if I were to ever bring him up on charges of high negligence. The MPhil coordinator looked like he was just there for the show. I should have bought him some popcorn.

The MPhil coordinator seemed highly unconcerned with the number of graduates that the department had (or had not). When I asked how the regional university (or the department) could say they want graduates but simultaneously seemed so apathetic, he shocked me by saying that, "Well the Office of Graduate Studies and Research promised us incentives but they didn't really deliver. We are not paid to guide MPhils you know!"

So you are telling me, the real reason why the Department of Computing doesn't bother too much with outputting MPhil and or Ph.D. students, is because the supervisors can't see the immediate benefit in doing such a thing, even though it is a part of their job? I needed to get out of that place in a hurry!