Paris

Ch 7 - Panic Attacks and Depression

"Hold on! You made us wait almost three months to tell us this, and that's all you're telling us?"

I shrugged. "There's nothing to tell. I had a one night stand and that's it."

"And you don't know his name?" Pearl asked. I shook my head.

"London, this is a big deal. This guy is a big deal. You swore that you would never ever have a one night stand, and the one guy who gets you to do it is the one you abandon in a hotel room? What is wrong with you?" Connie asked.

I rolled my eyes. "You're just exaggerating."

"Call it whatever you want, but if Fifi was here, she'd definitely agree with me," she pointed out.

Connie is my closest friend after Refilwe. We met in primary school, and she, Fifi and I went to the same high school where we met Pearl. Claudia is the last to join our group, having met Connie at varsity.

Life happened and we'd postponed our girl's night out, until finally a free night came up for all of us. My best friend was still MIA, and it hurt to not have her around, but I had to keep reminding myself that she needed the time away.

"I have to agree with Con here. You cut your hair, you learnt a new language and you had a one night stand. That's just the three things that really stand out amongst the million other things you did. It's like you're a different person," Pearl commented.

"Maybe I am," I replied.

"So are we going to address who Laz is?" Claudia asked.

I glared at her. "Laz is no one."

"Laz?" Pearl and Connie asked.

Claudia nodded. "Every day for the past two weeks, when she thinks no one is looking, she goes to her contacts and contemplates calling whoever Laz is, but she never does."

She would only know this because we work in the same place.

"Spill," Connie told me.

"There's nothing to tell. Like I said, Laz is no one," I replied.

"If he's no one, then delete his number right now in front of us," Pearl dared.

My eyes widened. I could never be able to do that. As it is, I've had to live with guilt for almost three months at the last conversation we had. I was a bitch, and he's called me once every day, but I've never bothered to answer the phone.

I don't even know what I'm afraid of.

Even I know that the excuse I gave him was complete nonsense, but honestly, only Fifi would understand. I've been in a relationship that started out much like this one, where everything was going really well.

Until we met.

I don't want things between Cuba and I to change. He's one of the few people who I can talk to without having to watch what I say. Involving the physical aspects might just change everything, so we're safer apart.

Even if safer so far means not talking at all.

"You can't even stomach the thought can you? Who's Laz?" Connie asked me

"Laz is no one," I stressed.

"Hmm, so you won't mind if we call him now?" Claudia asked.

I was wondering why she asked until I realized that she had my phone. I must've zoned out and given her the opportunity to grab it from the table. "You don't know my password."

"Everyone knows your password," the three of them said concurrently.

"What? How?" I asked, only to be ignored.