"Daddy?" I lifted my head off Connor's lap when Allison came into the room. Connor and I had been talking over everything but fallen asleep on the sofa.
"What's up, baby?"
"Are you still sad?" I couldn't help the little smile that played on my lips as she came over to me. I sat up and pulled her into my lap, careful not to disturb Connor who really didn't look comfortable, curled in the corner of the sofa with his head on the arm rest.
"A little bit. But I'll be happy again soon." I told her quietly, kissing her head.
"Oh. Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I have food? My tummy's going 'grr' like a monster." I laughed and nodded.
"Sure. Let's go see what we can find in the kitchen." Setting Allison on the floor again, I stood up and headed to the kitchen. She followed behind me and then climbed up onto the barstool at the counter to watch me.
"Cookie, daddy?" I glanced at the clock and gasped at the time. It was almost seven o'clock at night. No wonder Allison was hungry. We'd gotten home from the doctor's around three and Connor and I had talked for probably close to two hours.
"Sweetheart, can you go and wake papa for me? I'm going to make dinner."
"Okay." I watched as she hopped of the stool and skipped into the living room. I busied myself getting out what I needed for dinner, listening to Allison talking to Connor.
"Hey. God, how long did we sleep?" Connor appeared after a while, Allison sitting on his hip. His hair was messed up and he still looked exhausted.
"A good few hours I think." I replied, only half focused on the conversation as I was chopping carrots and didn't want to get my fingers.
"Do you want help?"
"Yeah. You can peel potatoes." I didn't necessarily mean for my words to come out as harsh as they did. He set Allison back on the stool and came around to the other side of the counter, gently taking the knife from me and turning me around to face him. "What?"
"Troye, we have to stay strong through this." He wrapped me in a hug and I tucked my head into his shoulder, breathing deeply.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be. I know how you're feeling. Remember that and talk to me, yeah? Don't just keep it bottled up." I nodded and sighed.
"I will. Promise." Lifting my head, I pressed a kiss to his lips. "I love you."
"I love you too." He whispered.
"Daddy, I'm hungry." Allison whined, making Connor and I jump apart.
"Sorry, sweetheart. Dinner will be ready soon."I said to her, turning back to the abandoned carrots. Together, Connor and I worked quickly to get dinner ready for us, Allison watching intently and chattering about her dolls and the new game she'd invented.
Hearing how carefree she sounded; it made me want to cry but somehow I managed to keep my tears at bay until after Allison was asleep. Only then did I crawl into bed beside Connor and cried myself to sleep. He held me close the whole time, his own tears making my hair damp.
Just before I fell asleep, I made myself a promise; I would cry today but be strong tomorrow. Allison needed us, every second of the coming days, weeks and months.
