The Princess and The Piper

Chapter Eighteen

We all have those moments when we completely shut down, those moments when it's impossible to think or to move, when we are utterly broken and unfixable. Everyone has that time when they've traveled too far through the wilderness and they can no longer peer at the hopeful sky through the thick forest of trees; see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every single person on this earth and another have that one word that could make them collapse; fracture each bone in their body, turning their limbs slack. Luckily, I had yet to experience it but was oblivious to how soon my time would come.

Pan's deep green eyes bore into mine, mixed with emotion. Anger. Sadness. Fear. Anticipation. But most of all, hope. For once in my uncharted time here on Neverland, I caught a sliver of hope in his eyes. A single star succumbed the top left of each of his beautiful irises, creating a central focal point. It seemed as if everything in the hut revolved around that one star. 

The sleeves of his shirt brushed against my upper arms as I stared up at him. His broad shoulders radiated power and dominance, though his face expressed something unknown; it seemed almost unnatural to him and obviously didn't belong. 

I couldn't speak, only breathe out of my nose. I calmed in his grasp; he appeared to be less anxious. The two of us stood before the other, just inches apart, my hands resting on each of his toned shoulders, gazing into each other's eyes. It felt right, especially because he wasn't screaming or complaining about how awful I am. But those moments aren't meant to last; they never do. 

"Pan!" called a tall, blonde boy as he barged into the room in a sprint. "Someone's here-"

Pan whipped his head toward Felix, who was bent over, gasping for breath, his hands on his knees. "Who?" Pan demanded, his accented voice nearly sadistic as his eyes glazed over with clout. I flinched at his sudden change of mood, wishing I could back into a corner and slouch down, hiding my face behind my hair so that he couldn't find me, not with that voice, at least.

"A man," was all the scarred boy disclosed, his voice trembling. It was strange that Pan had this strong of a negative effect on his lost boy; Felix towered over him. "He had dark hair, I think-"

"You think?" Pan bellowed, his hands balling into fists at his sides as his chest heavily rose and fell. My breath caught in my throat, not wanting to face this side of him. "I didn't choose you to think! Anyone can do that!"

"He told me to deliver a message," Felix told him, trying his best not to cower at his leader. He said no more, but, in turn, waited for a response.

"A message?" Pan pacified his rugged breathing, closing his eyes as he did so. "Is that all? Nothing else?"

"Yes, Pan." The older lost boy's shoulders hung. "He said something about reclaiming what was rightfully his." At his words, I took a step backwards; Pan noticed. He moved sideways, his capacious shadow guarding me from everything and anyone. 

After all this time, I had never escaped. I had only postponed the inevitable. He said he would always find me, and his word remains true, I thought, unable to control my excessive hyperventilating.

My hands shook uncontrollably as I tried to wrap my head around the situation. I was growing dizzy, the world around me becoming a blurred streak.

How was he able to track me down? How did he manage to get to Neverland? 

Dozens of questions roamed freely, but not one answer chose to reveal itself. I thought I was beginning to understand, but instead, I'd only been left in the darkness, the deep, inescapable darkness.

"You are dismissed." Pan sent him off with the simple wave of his hand. His voice has softened, but continued to emanate confidence and influence. 

"This can't be happening," I mumbled, sliding down the wall and gripping my hair like one of the mentally insane. I refused to believe that he had found me. I refused.

Once the boy had left, Pan turned around slowly to face me, my mind not wholly in sync with reality. "What do you want me to do?" I peered up at him through the thousands of strands of hair that shielded my features. His eyes pleaded for assistance. He had no idea what to do. Anything and everything that he could try would harm me in the process. 

I shook my head, rejecting what was truly unfolding before me, and placing myself into a fantasy created by the deepest parts of my imagination. 

I imagined the open ocean, the waves tumbling with Luna's request. Dolphins laced the uneven horizon , dancing with one another as they practiced tricks. Schools of fish swam just below the surface, their varying colors appearing as beautiful as a rainbow after a horrid sea storm. And, lying still at the bottom of the ocean, stood my kingdom, Atlantica, at its finest. Hundreds of merpeople swam the vast waters, conversing and laughing. Gleeful smiles spread across each of their faces as bright lights flashed from the center of the joy. Tall, reflective blue towers jut out of the soft, beige sand, each of different shapes and sizes, and a single laugh boomed louder than the rest, a deep, hearty chuckle, belonging to a man. Grandfather's.

Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light, I thought, trying to find any part that an optimist may focus on; I came up short. I almost smiled, a sad smile, but what pulled back into reality when someone viciously shook my shoulders. I opened my eyes, not realizing that they were originally closed, and stared up at the figure that hovered above me. 

"I asked you a question," Pan warned, growing restless and uneasy as he decided how to take action. My mind drew a blank, I wasn't listening. I gazed at him vacantly. He groaned before standing to pace across the tent. "What do you want me to do?" He stopped and hung his head, much like a lost puppy desperate to find its way home.

The nausea returned as I remembered, a pain in my chest soon taking its place. My voice came out as barely above a whisper. "I don't know."

Pan placed his hands above his hips, his eyes trailing to the floor as he was consumed by deep thought. "How could this even happen? If anyone were to step on the shores of Neverland, I would know!" He brushed his hands through his thick golden curls. "How could I let this-" He glanced up at me, anger steaming from his ears in smoke and eyes almost glowing a faint red as his aura changed color. He pointed a finger at me, marching toward my position with a heavy fist. "This is all your fault!" I creased my eyebrows, my despair transforming into rage, and I opened my mouth to speak. "No!" He swiped his hand, looking away for a split second before reconnecting our eyes. "If I hadn't been so absorbed by obsessive thoughts about you, then I'd be able to think straight! I would know if the magic from the island is draining! If you would have never arrived, I'd still be in control!" The look on his face was almost inhuman, as if he was involuntarily shouting random thoughts that weren't even his own. He was definitely not himself.

"Pan-"

"No!" he shouted, motioning toward the exit. A bulging vein popped out of his glistening forehead. "Get out! Now! Before I rip out your heart out of your chest and squeeze it to ashes!" 

I gave him one last glare before pivoting on my heel and storming out of the hut. Tears leaked from my glassy eyes. Then I ran. I ran harder and faster than I ever have before. I raced through the thick trees, twisting and turning as I stomped on the crippled leaves and bent twigs. Daylight was beginning to fade, the brilliant yellow sun and abundant, cloudless blue sky disappearing behind the embodiment of the forest. I collapsed onto the frozen dirt on the ground, my legs barely pumping with what little energy they could obtain. My heart felt as if it would explode in my chest. Having suffered through enough in once lifetime, I wanted so badly to end it all, but I grew tired of being tired. I knew one thing that I must do. I had to destroy what destroys me. But in just a few seconds, all my confidence was whisked away, like it had never been there in the first place.

"Ah, my darling _____," a man spoke, his voice flowing with mockery and ridicule. "What's the point of leaving? I told you that I would always find you."