The Goddess Within

The Nobodies

I sat up on the couch, shaking. That was the first time I had heard my father’s voice since I was a child. It was almost impossible to comprehend. My father had been gone for so long; it was amazing that I even recognized him. Sure, I had seen pictures, but that had been it. Now that my father had wanted me to help him with... unfinished business... I had to oblige. It was pretty hard not to believe him. As a ghost, what else did he have to lose?

            Bastet nudged my arm, and I ran my hand over her head, scratching behind her ears. Bastet and Isis were such sweet hearts. Since mum had died, they had been my comfort. My brothers had a different way of coping then I did. After she died, Isis and Bastet just showed up on our porch, both kittens. They hardly left my side, and I knew that mum and gram had brought them to me.

            Mum had died of breast cancer, that had spread throughout her body, gram had died... well, we weren’t too sure why. She had a stroke, and we had been told she would make a full recovery. She died a day later. We weren’t sure if it was from an infection or what else it could have been, but after losing mum, we weren’t going to ask questions. Both had been sick for a while, and they had each other in the afterlife.

            I didn’t know what I would have done without them, until my girls showed up. Then I knew I could survive anything life threw at me... then Mikey’s parents got divorced, and his mother died. I couldn’t tell you how long Mikey had stayed with me, both of us crying and holding each other. Then my friend Sarah’s brother raped me, and Mikey swore he would kill him. I did all I could to keep Mikey by my side. Even promised him I would stop self-harming. Which took all of my strength after mum and gram died, but he said he would stick by me through what ever happened. He had kept his promise.

            Mikey’s like another brother to me, even though I already have three older brothers, but I’ve always been one of the boys, so I was use to him being protective of me... even if we had a bit of a crush on each other. He was just too busy to notice how I truly felt about him. For me, it was more of a crush... I could have sworn I loved him. Ever since that night...

            Speak of the devil; I have to pick him up from the hospital when he calls. I wandered into my room, wrapped my hand around the necklace he gave me and looked at it in the mirror. The stone, malachite, was the same color of Bastet and Isis’s eyes, brilliant green. Just like dad’s eyes had been in my dream...

            The dream! I should write it down, keep them documented, to help the investigation and such. I turn my iHome on, and “The Nobodies” by Marilyn Manson comes on. Its uncanny how well this song relates to the situation I’m in. I can’t help but smile and sing along, “Today, I am dirty. I want to be pretty. Tomorrow, I know I’m just dead. We are the nobodies, wannabe somebody’s, we’re dead... we know just who we are.”

            I continued to sing as I wrote down the events of the dream, and then I fell back asleep.

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            After I woke up for the second time and decided to carry on with my day, I wasn’t too surprised to see sunlight streaming through my window. I had to force myself to roll out of bed, or I would have slept all day. My iHome was still blaring, except the song was now “Down with the sickness” instead of Marilyn Manson. Either way, I had to get up.

            I wasn’t too surprised to find my notebook open on the floor, and the pen still on my bed. Bastet and Isis were asleep on my dresser, in the sunlight. Nothing seemed too out of place, so I decided to get a shower. I had to go tell Mikey what happened last night.

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            When I walked up to his hospital room, I wasn’t surprised to see him flipping through the magazine I had left the night before. He was as fascinated with tattoos as I was.