Damned Star (Completed)

Sheet 5

“Oh this?” I continued, “My dad gave it to me.”

“So that’s why you seem to always wear it.” He stated, as he relaxed his body on the bench.

“This is very sentimental to me.” I added even though I felt like he wasn’t that interested.

“He’s one lucky man to have a very thoughtful daughter like you.” he said.

“He died when I was in my teens.” I answered softly.

“Oh,” he paused, “I’m sorry.” He apologized.

I giggled, “It’s alright. I don’t mind talking about my dad. It brings back so many good memories.”

Yoochun nodded and took the bottle of Soju the ajumma gave us and drank it. When I thought the conversation was over he surprisingly spoke up, “You must really love him.” 

I replied immediately with pride, “Of course, he is the best dad in the world.”

Instead of responding he offered me some of the Soju. “No thanks, you have your saliva all over the lip of the bottle.” I complained declining his offer.

“I am already giving it to you and now you’re refusing it?”

“You can have it Yoochun.” I smiled.

He looked at me for a few seconds before retrieving his hand. He had one gulp of alcohol and then looked away. There was a few seconds of silence then, “I can’t remember when I last talked to my family.” he shared. 

The 'star' sighed, “I haven’t called them ever since I quit the industry. I was just so embarrassed of what I have become. I couldn’t face them. I failed to pursue my dream, my career.” He solemnly stated.

I gazed at the damned star. He looked so weak, so vulnerable. A very different side of him showing. Finally, he’s opening up to me. I know it is a very wrong time but I can’t help smiling.

“I want to let them know I am doing okay, but I just don’t have the guts to call them, especially in this state I’m in right now.” He ended.   

“Come on, man up!" I tapped his shoulder, "It would be better for you if you reconcile with your family. Tell them they have nothing to worry about.” I suggested, trying to share some courage with him.

“I’ll have to think about that.” The damned star let out a soft sigh as he stared out the dark sky.

“By the way, about us girls getting hurt easily just because of small things… not all girls are like that you know.” I uttered protecting the image of us women. Well at least that’s what I’m attempting to do.

His serious visage changed to his usual poker face, “Most of my past girlfriends were.” He replied.

I was about to continue my noble speech about my gender when he looked at me strikingly and stated, “But my last girlfriend Minkyung was different. She was an independent woman. My other girls depended too much on me. They didn’t have a strong heart like she did. She does not get offended easily. Minkyung was the perfect woman for me. Actually, I became the one reliant on her.” He looked away and took in a deep breath, “That’s why when she left, I was devastated. I leaned on her too much and got comfortable that when she left, I turned into one lost man.”  

I saw with my very own eyes this man shedding a tear. It was such a surreal moment. I was going to reach out to him but I felt him move away. He looked at me with those vulnerable eyes and gulped on the bottle of Soju on his hands.

“I needed her more, than she needed me.” He muttered.

I kept still and quiet, listening to his every word. I was learning his story.