Burning Bright

Chapter 28

He eased off me and propped himself up on one arm, looking at me. ‘That you could try the patience of a saint? You must have heard that before.’

‘Err, no. Before that.’

‘Erm . . . oh. Ah. Sorry.’

‘It’s OK. Turn of phrase and all that.’

He paused a moment. ‘I meant, I was going to wait and not say that until I thought you were ready.’

‘Oh. Oh! And when would that be?’

‘I had no idea. I’ve already tried to tell you a couple of times, but it didn’t quite work out.’

‘You have? When?’ That was certainly news to me.

‘On the beach. Our beach. The second time we went. I was about to tell you, but you interrupted me by saying it was time to go.’

‘Oh.’

‘And then again the night after the press conference, but Vee arrived with that Reiki guy. I, er, I wasn’t sure you wanted to hear it so I didn’t say it again. Except you just caught me a bit off guard then. I thought you’d come.’

‘I had, but, you know . . .’

‘Give me a minute to recover, you insatiable woman. But, well, now you know how I feel about you, I promise not to say it again until, well . . . until you’re ready.’

‘What makes you think I’m not?’

‘Well, it was more that I didn’t know that you were. I’m usually the one having to deal with premature . . . declarations. And I’m usually the one thinking, “No, don’t tell me that. I’m not ready. I don’t feel the same way about you and I don’t know what to do with that information because I can’t respond in the way you want me to and I feel all awkward and now you hate me because I haven’t immediately said ‘I love you too’”. And I didn’t want it to be like that for you.’

‘Wow.’

‘Wow?’

‘You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?’

‘I know you think this is all temporary, that I’ll go home or wherever and forget about you, but . . . but I don’t want that to happen. I can’t let that happen. I love you and I know I wasn’t going to say it again, but that’s honestly how I feel about you, and the thought of you not being in my life scares me and disorientates me more than I ever thought it could, but you’ve got all this job stuff going on and . . . Oh God, now I’ve put even more pressure on you which was the exact opposite of what I wanted to do! I’m such an idiot!’

‘Eoin.’

‘Yes?’

‘Shut up and kiss me.’

He did. And as we reaffirmed our desire for one another, I held him tightly and whispered, ‘I love you too, you wonderful, gorgeous, fabulous idiot.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

‘Really truly?’

‘Yes!’

‘Thank God. Erm, since when?’

‘Well, I kind of realised yesterday up at the tiger sanctuary.’

‘Ah, I thought you went a bit weird on me.’

‘That sounds about right. That’s about how it felt.’

‘So when people ask you how you felt when you fell deeply and irrevocably in love with me, you’re going to tell them that you “felt a bit weird”.’