Learn to love me - Phanfiction

Chapter 4

Dan's POV

I hate how people think that once you meet someone you love, all your depression will dissapear just like that. No. For me, it gets worse.

It's as if all my insecurities have been bottled up, and it often leaks, which causes my to feel this way normally. However, once your with the person who you love, it's changes.

The person you love is the person who is always perfect in your eyes. So when there's always someone by your side, someone so perfect, you feel as if your flaws are showing.

In contrast to their perfectness, you look like a disgusting piece shit.

I stare into Phil's eyes, scanning his face. His flawless face. It's a painful pleasure. He's so beautiful, but I'm so...ugly.

I didn't realize Phil was staring back, until he spoke, startling me from my thoughts.

"Your thinking too much Dan, I can see it in your eyes. Your really stressed," He strokes my cheek lovingly.

"How did you-"

"Doesn't matter. What's wrong bear?" He smiles. 

"There's these thoughts, in my head, and I believe them, and they aren't-they aren't nice..." I trail off, hoping he gets it.

The raven haired boy embraces me into a warm hug, resting his head in the crook of my neck. His hot breath sends delightful tingles down my back, as all my bad thoughts dissapear. For now, anyway.

"Forget about them," He mumbles, burying himself deeper into my neck, if that was even possible.

I chuckle coldly. If only it was that easy. I knew Phil wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. Normally, he would have said something that actually helped.
**********

"Dan, do you really think I care. please, give me a break, who could ever love something as disgusting as you?" Phil spat, pulling a disgusted look.

I'm lying on the floor, clutching my stomach. It's like theres a tiny man in my stomach, twisting my guts around, making my brain all fuzzy. I'm looking up at Phil, and yet he seems so much taller than he would normally. He's laughing coldly.

I look into his eyes. Those aren't Phil's eyes. They are dark, cold, and lifeless. Phil's eyes are warm, sweet, and beautiful. I know this isn't really Phil, and yet, I still lead myself on to believing it is.

"P-Phil h-help me!  P-Please! I love you!" I beg desperately.

"Oh Phil, if only there were anyone who could love you," He walks away.

Everything around me is black spots. I hear mocking, laughing, teasing and shouting.

"DAN! DAN PLEASE!!!" I hear a voice. But not just any voice, it's Phils!

Not the Phil who laughed at me, this voice was angelic, as if he wouldn't hurt a fly.

"DAN!" I quickly sit up, feeling light headed as soon as I do.

The dream was so intense that I was sweating.

"Ohmygoddan," Phil quickly mumbles, hugging my tightly.

"You w-were asleep, and you were c-crying, and shaking...a-alot," Phil sobs, wiping his tears furociously.

He looks up at me, pushing my fringe back and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Your ill," He confirms, resting his forehead againt mine as he feels the hotness.

His forehead is cold compared to mine and i'm also shivering.

Phil realizes this too, as he grabs my duvet, pulling it over both of us letting me snuggle into his chest for warmth.

I fall back asleep in his arms. And this time, it was a nice, peaceful dream.