Rant N' Rave

NO.

The word "no" can mean a lot, or nothing at all depending on the circumstances. The connotation and context of the situation makes the word mean what you want it to mean.

In the situation of a man cat - calling or harassing a woman, I've found that many women use what I like to call "the boyfriend excuse". This is when said woman claims she has a boyfriend, which usually works to fend off any boy's unwanted attention. After this tactic is used however, the women has a sense of guilt that eats away at her because she didn't accept the boy's advances. But why? I've used this tactic myself a few times, but it completely contradicts all the values and morals I live by. In fact, it supports the ones I stand firmly against. When I say no, it's not enough to get you to leave me alone, but if I appear to be another man's "property", you can respect that. If I stand so firmly against the patriarchal system of beliefs, why do I easily unconsciously feed into it?

As time has gone by, I have stopped using "the boyfriend excuse", and made sure my no's are firm and not about anything than my own feelings, but the slight bit of guilt is still there. Somewhere along the line, subconsciously, I had integrated the idea that as a women, I was created to please and cater to men's every desire, and that I should feel bad when I didn't want to do that. 

I take pride in being a fierce feminist, but even I have my faults due to society's constant patriarchal brainwashing. I used "the boyfriend excuse" because it's the easy way out, and because 9 times out of 10, it works. But this tactic only buys into the fact that the only way to keep a man off me is if I'm some other guys' property, which is complete and utter bullshit. 

The stereotype for a woman is to be "nice", "friendly", and to be "peacemakers". I think that when situations that call for immediate attention arise, a woman's natural instinct is to remain quiet and not say a word, as not to disturb the peace and ruin everyone else's experience. In reality, the immediate reaction should be to call out for help, and to call as much attention to it as possible. Staying silent only allows the man in question to feel like it's okay to act that way and treat women like garbage. By staying silent, you only enable men to treat you and any other women they may encounter in life like they're property. 

So from now on, I encourage any woman reading this to stop using "the boyfriend excuse", and instead confidently believe in the power of the word "no". If that isn't enough to fend off an unwanted advance, you need to learn self - defense to defend against persistent offenders. By no means should you let a man undermine your beliefs and morals, and if that means fighting them to defend yourself, you gotta do what you gotta do. In the end, women are just as valuable as men are, and just as powerful with our words. We don't need a man, imaginary or not, to defend us from predators, and once the world's women believe in that, the world will be more equal. 

This philosophy doesn't only apply to women though. I am well aware that females can also be predators and they don't always stop. To the guys reading this, don't think that you can't defend yourself from unwanted advances as well. Fighting off a girl isn't always easy, and not being able to doesn't make you any less of a man. Yes, hitting women is illegal in some places, and can get you in a load of trouble, but again, to defend yourself you gotta do what you gotta do. A sexual assault or harassment is the same, no matter the gender of the offender. (Someone write that down, it rhymes and has a nice ring to it). 

Whether you're a man or a woman, the word "no" can be the most powerful tool you have when dealing with unwanted attention. Once the world realizes that that small word means so much, it'll be a different world indeed.

Alright, I'm done. See ya. 

                                                 - M