Am I still Invisible?

Chapter 9- Why Me?

Riley’s POV

What the hell is wrong with me? What the f*** was I thinking? How could I do that?

I mean, now not only have I got to deal with her being pissed again, my 2 distraught younger siblings and my 3 elder siblings (who are taking there sweet time might I add) but now I have to deal with the fact that I just wept into the shoulder of the schools bad boy.

Why do I always make life harder for myself? I mean tomorrow not only will I be nursing her hang over but I will also have to face the laughter at school.

This is all her fault. Her actions made me weak enough to believe Ryan in that moment. This normally doesn’t happen to me but because of her ridiculous behavior I was left feeling hurt, vulnerable and in desperate need of someone to confide in.

I should have waited for Pete or Dan or someone but instead I chose to be an idiot and cry to one of the most popular boys in school.

There goes my invisibility and in comes humiliation.

I have to admit that sobbing it out like that helped. All my sadness is now replaced with anger. Yes, I still feel a little hurt but at least I feel more prepared to decide a course of action with Cassie, Dan and Pete.

I am surprised when I walk into the pizza hut as Pete is sitting in my seat. Our food is sitting on the table and Emma has begun to tuck in. Will sits picking at his piece. Not that I can blame him. Eating also seems like a chore now.

Pete sits running his hands through his hair. He looks worried.

I sit down opposite him and we wait. Eventually Cassie and Dan arrive. All five of us wear the same worried looks.

“Emma, is it ok if we drop you off and Mrs Theyers for an hour or so?” Cassie asks Emma. Mrs Theyers is our neighbour and she is one of the nicest people I have ever met.

“Sure,” Emma replies happily.

We pay and leave. Cassie takes Emma to drop her off. Pete (whose friend dropped him off in the mall) drives Dan’s car home with Will and Dan drives me home.

I told him wasn’t up for driving and he claimed that he wanted to speak to me.

I watch as my brother keeps his eyes on the road ahead.

“What happened Rile,” he asks monotonously.

“Found her passed out on the coffee table. Whole place stank of vodka.”

I find it sad that I even know what her preferred drink is. I mean I was only five when she used to have her alcohol binge sessions. It’s sad that I learned what she preferred to drink at that age and still remember it eleven years later. That’s how deep of a scar she left on me.

“Sounds like her,” Dan sighs out. He is exhausted.

He parks the car in the driveway. Pete was driving fast-something he often does when he is upset- and he and Will are therefore inside the house already.

Dan leans across the gearbox and hugs me.

I can feel the waterworks make their way up. My eyes start to sting. I thought I was over this. I hate feeling so weak. I start to cry into my big brothers shirt.

He squeezes me and keeps telling me that we will get through this as a family. I know that he is feeling the same way I am. We all are. And I know that he is right. As a family we will get through this because that’s what families do. They are there for each other.

Its thoughts like these that calm me down.

Cassie’s car pulls up next to ours and we walk into the house together.  The smell of the vodka has diffused out of the house.

Pete and Will sitting on the kitchen nook and Dan, Cassie and I go to join them.

“Will, you should go do some homework,” Cassie says tiredly.

“NO,” I interject,” he is fourteen Cass. Plus he saw her and helped me carry her. He should be allowed to stay.”

“He is just a kid Riley,” Cassie retaliates.

“A kid who helped me takes care of her. He has earned his right to stay and help decide what we should do.”

Dan and Pete nod their heads and Cassie is forced to back down.

We sit in silence for a good 2 minutes before Cassie speaks again.

“I think we should call dad,” she says quietly.

“We can’t disrupt his business trip Cass,” Dan says.

“Yeah Cass. This is a big trip for him.” Pete adds.

“Then what? Do we just let her get away with this,” Cassie yells.

“Maybe it’s a one time thing?” Will says quietly.

“It might be but we need to make sure Willy,” Dan says affectionately.

“We need Dad,” Cassie says.

“It’s a big story Cass. He can’t just leave London because of this. He needs to be there for his company,” Pete says.

“We need him,” Cassie states, “She needs him.”

“We also need him to have a job Cassie,” Dan says losing his patience with Cassie.

“How are we meant to deal with her alone. She needs help.” Cassie is yelling again.

“Cassie, there are 3 legal adults and a 16 year old in this household. We will be fine till dad gets back. We can handle her for 2 days.” Pete says calmly, trying to maintain the piece.

“Can you hear yourself, as ‘responsible adults’ we should admit that we don’t know what the f*** we are doing and call dad. We can’t handle her coz we were children the last time this happened. We don’t know what the h*** we are doing now. Just admit that we need dad’” Cassie is screaming.

“She is right,” I say.

“Riley, Cassie, think about how selfish we are being forcing dad to come home early from this once in a lifetime opportunity,” Dan says exasperated.

“The only selfish one here is our drunken mother,” I say with an eerie calmness, “ she is the reason for all of this sh*t going on now. So don’t blame us for being logical Dan. Blame mom for being pissed. Now lets be smart and call dad if not for our sake then for Mom’s and Emma’s.”

“Ok,” Dan says looking dejected and defeated, “let’s call Dad.”