Living without him

Don't care 'bout nothin

1992

I wouldn't say I'm obsessed... but I am! I pace myself back and forth in my room. Have to breathe now! Trying to fallow my command was a bust. Dramatically falling on my bed, my cat jumped slightly. Then she laid back down where she was. "Charlotte what am I going to do?" I move over and lay on my stomach, starring at her beautiful green eyes. Setting my head on my hands. Charlotte drooled slightly, and I smiled at her. "Me too sunshine!" I kissed her on the head and stood up once more. Charlotte one of my best friends is a tabby cat. Her chin is white with her orange nose over her Cheshire cat smile. Then her body mostly black, with splotches of orange and grey. Her arms have stripes of black with the under layer of grey. She's fourteen, I'd never dare say she's old. Quite frankly whenever people comment on stating someone is 'old' I think it's rude! Whenever I see my Grandma, (she's 83) I would never say she's old. What I tell her is that she is the new 24! She'd alway's laugh and say, 'Oh hunny Grandma's old!'. She's not old at all! Along with my Charlotte she's never going to be old. She grew up with my practically! Spend a lot of time with her. She's always there for me when know one else is. And with my other cat, just a nice happy famiely!

Walked to the kitchen, a very small one may I add. A new apartment smell is strange, well it's definitely not new. Don't know if it's the smell of crack or just the carpete? Can't afford anything else. Had to get out of my parents they drove me crazy. Have a job that completly sucks, a waitress at this small restaurant. It's moldy and gross, yet people still eat there. The person who owns that place is complete utterly not cool! Last week I saw her with this weird, greased back haired fellow. Apparently there dating? It's disgusting, his mouth could use some bleach! Heard them a few times when I passed her office.

My radio slightly turned up, and one of my old notebooks I found the other day rests in my lap. Mostly old drawings and poems. One page has a rose petal that's been tapped inside. One night I was alone and I just walked upon this rose garden. Stole a few of the roses and vanished away. That was a night that I would never forget. A night where I broke out of the house. I think I was about fifteen? But I did feel free that night, the first time I felt free. The foggy air that moved so gracefully over the pavements. How the sidewalk was still slightly damp from the earlier rain. I sat on top of this old building for a few hours afterwards. Just watching the city lights. It was truly perfect. Made me happy, completely worth it.

My wall phone started ringing. I stood up softly tossing my journal on the table in front of me. The wall phone I had was located right in between my kitchen and the living room. "Hello?" I set the phone on my ear. Charlotte moved taking her time to the couch. Her gut sagged, dad always joked about how she needed a girdle.

The familiar voice ran threw my ears, "hi Jesse!" Her bubbly self almost shouted.

I smiled to myself, "what's up?" Charlotte sprung up on the couch and sat on the arm rest. Starring at me, I waved at her and she looked away out the glass door. The eyes narrowed on something outside and she staid completely frozen.

"Like ohmygod!" Her voice squeaked, I really dont know how all these years I haven't screamed at her. I'v never talked like that, and never wish to! She wanted to be one of the Valley girls. That says it all right there, "girl like seriously! It's a huge surprise!" Ya I'v became immune to this.

My voice slightly shook, "what is it Amy?" I sat down on one of my bar chairs stretching out the cord that the phone attaches to.

Can almost hear her jumping up and down, "IT'S TOTALLY TUBULAR!"

Charlotte jumped down on the wooden floor and rushed to the glass door. Freezing yet again, "Amy how am I supposed to know?" Rubbed my face, it's a Saturday. My only day off of work.

"Can I come over to like... show you?" After awhile she usually tones down the weird act and becomes Amy. Most of her friend's talk that way. So she gets all glitched out and funky.

Turned my voice all toxic and could screetch threw just like Amy's. "Like totally!" I groaned at what I just did. Sometimes I worry about myself... it was only once for today. Keep it at a low. And what's even worse about it it's kinda out of date of what Amy should be acting like. As long as she says it's herself then I geuss that's all that matters? Well apart of her. It shouldn't matter how out of date it is anyway! Don't know what I'm thinking.

"I'll be there in a jiffy!" The phone slammed shut. I rolled my head back and hung up the phone as well. Still in my PJ's, she'll be all dressed out in everything and here I'll be in my baggy short's and tee. Eh, It's fine.

Walked down my hallway, that breaks away my kitchen and the front door. The very last room is mine, a huge poster of Tim Tim stapled up above my dresser. Sometimes I just come here and stare. Me and Charlotte often act like he's with us. I'm not insane, just highly imaginative of what won't happen. Shotgun Messiah is completetly the best music I have ever heard! It speaks to me... Love how free they act. Or are, Tim is the best singer ever. Every time I listen to him I get goosebumps. Ever single freaking time...

My doorbell rung right when my shirt came off, quickly slipped my bra on and a oversized sweater. And left my black shorts on. Grabbed my boots and ran to the front door. "Hey!" Opening the door to Amy. Which is jumping up and down just like I predicted over the phone.

She gets excited a lot. "OHMYGOD!" She spoke quickly. Her arms grasped on to me in a over sized hug. My boots fell out of my hands.

I laughed and hugged her back, "what is it Amy?" I let go of her.

She still held me there now bouncing up and down again, "JESSE!" Amy squealed and finally let go. I shrugged and monotoned my what face to her.

Softly falling on my butt, I picked one of my boot's up. "Jesse!" She held a envelope in her hands. Still I staid silent, grinning up at her.

Tied both of my boots on my feet and stood up again. I let out a huge sigh, "Amy what?" Her face flooded with red and she tried hard not to scream.

Stomped her high heels into the floor, softly enough to only hear little clicks? "Jess it's totally perfect!" She opened the envelope, hands slightly shaking.

She showed the items that were hiding, "AMY!" I shouted and picked her up spinning. She is smaller than me after all. I'm kinda to tall, and awkward looking. She laughed, "happy birthday!"

Thoughts? :D