Living without him

Skold

Amy's hand touched the door. Like a spark that just flew off a fire. Stress was already beginning to take up my insides. Again. I coated so much deodorant before we left the apartment. Can't be to cautious about how I smell. I'm happy that was the only thing I went overboard on. Only sprayed one pump of perfume. And I'm hopefully odorless of sweat! So fuck yeah. Even though I do feel extremely sweaty.

Amy let go of my arm and took the lead. She knew that I'd walk extremely slow. Why did she just give up if she knows? Just me stalling I guess... But she just walked like nothing was in front of her. They really don't seem as intimidating as I'm interpreting them! Seem so nice and sweet? I'm just a wuss, that's all. Seeing beautiful heavenly creatures is just raw for my eyes. I do stare at my poster a lot. Their used to paper Tim. . . not actual Tim.  I'm so pathetic.

Amy looked back at me quickly before she did anymore moves. She made it halfway to the doorway, but I still slowly drag myself. They'd probably get the idea that I don't even like them. Amy's mouth dropped, her fast action towards me. Literally sent me off my feet. Almost wanted just to turn back to the bathroom and hide in a stall. "Jesse," she latched her hands on my shoulders from behind. Pushing me forward.

"Amy stop it." I mumbled, trying to stop my feet. I tried to keep my eyes on the ground. But they looked up, Harry was looking at me, again. Amy pushed me forward harder than ever, "Amy." I was on the verge of just crying. 

"Jesse their not going to hurt you!" I'v always hated that saying. Just like the same, 'they won't bite!' Bull crap! That just makes me even more nervous. 

My hands clenched onto what I could find. And of course it was the little ledge that I banged my shoulder on. "Jess stop it," she then gripped onto my ankles?!

She suddenly yanked so hard I fell on the floor! "Amy what the actual fuck?!" I quickly stood up, my face burned. The shaky heart that could barely stay inside my body shook. 

Now my feet stayed glued to the floor. Amy abandoned me, she went straight for them. Leaving me all alone! Dammit I'm so retarded! 

I watched Amy approach them, only about twenty feet away. They all looked at her in concern? Tim sat up, he was laying on the ground smoking a cigarette. I saw his handsome grin appear on his face. The cigarette stayed balanced in his mouth as he stood up. His oversized sweater was black. And his sleeves went past his hands. He had a bandana on, with his sun glasses propped up on his head. Leaving his beautiful blue icy eyes to look at. I melted where I stood. Nearly wanting to be unconscious. So, I could finally breathe. But I wouldn't want to breathe anytime soon from missing any of this. Being this close to them has been the best feeling ever. 

Amy laughed. Flirting almost, and Tim started walking towards me. I was just about to curl up into a ball. But instead, my hands covered my face. Hearing his foot steps come closer to me made me completely stop swaying back and forth, which I wasn't aware I was doing before. I was being choked practically! 

"Hey!" He poked his finger on the back side of my hand. I slightly looked threw the opening of my left hands pinky. His eyes directed on mine and I hid back inside my hands, "you okay?" He chuckled.

Some type of weird noise escaped my lips. It was a combination of a squeal and a breath. JESSE STOP IT! "Yeah." I mumbled. Sliding my hands so they only cover my grin. His beautiful eyes are looking at me! This is the correct term for melting. If it's not then I'm just dieing? 

He nodded flipping his hair to his side. Inside I was screaming at the top of my lungs. But on the outside, I tried to look at normal as possible. That's really hard for me. . . really hard! "Let's go!" He spun around me and set his hands on my shoulders. Copying what Amy was doing. Except I walked immediately. His hands made my shoulders tingle. Kinda like my vision currently. His grip on my shoulders is so softy placed. Something I don't want to end! Wish life had a pause button, better yet a rewind button. Or something like that? I finally start breathing normally. Even if it is fast pace. I can see his oversized sweater sleeves dangle off my shoulders. Making me even more happy.