Nightmares (the mortal instruments) (fanfiction) (cityof heavenly fire)

The Diffrent Side (Chapter 2)

Clary awoke with a start the white lights of the infirmary blurring images together. She could make out a figure at the side of her bed. Clary’s vision cleared to show fiery red hair just like her own. For once she was glad Jace wasn’t right next to her. She wouldn’t be able to face him agaun. Guilt washed over her as memories filled her mind they poked and played at her heart strings causing her to internally cringe. She wanted to double over in pain but refrained from doing so. Instead she sat up in the bed and smiled into her mums gleaming eyes.

“Oh, Clary I’m so glad your awake, after what happened in the library with Sebastian and then you just started bleeding for no reason at all and then next thing I know I can hear you screaming from infirmary and you were dreaming again and there nothing-“

“It’s okay Mum I’m fine” Clary stated. Jocelyn didn’t look convinced. “In fact I feel a lot better I’m going to go train” clary jumped off the bed swaying a bit but not enough to let it show she started walking towards the infirmary doors but her Mothers hand caught her own.

“Clary, I think you should stay and rest” Jocelyn said firmly.

“Mum, that’s the last thing I need right now okay. I’m going to go train alone” Clary snarled as she pulled her wrist roughly away from Jocelyn’s.

“Please for your own good stay!” Jocelyn said sternly.

“You can’t tell me what to do”

“I am your mother Clarrissa, you do as I say!”

 Clary tilted her head to the side in complete arrogance and walked up so close to Jocelyns face she could see every pore and whispered harshly.

“Now you sound just like Jonathon”

_

Once Clary had closed the doors of the infirmary behind her, it was like all her walls came crashing down at realization of what she just said. She couldn’t believe she had just done that to her own mother. She was probably crying her heart out. She might never speak to clary again clary would lose the only true family she had left. Clary burst through the doors looking around franticly for her mother but found no trace. She must have been so disgraced in her that she couldn’t stand the sight of her so she left through the other doors.

Clary sighed angry at herself for being so selfish and self centred, but she carried on through the halls of institute towards the training room. She passed by Alec’s room, then Issy’s  then Jace’s. She stopped outside his door and leaned against it wanting to get as close to him as possible. If she listened heard enough she could hear the steady breathing of his sleeping lungs.

“Clary” he murmured through his dreams.

Clary would’ve regularly smiled like a love sick puppy at this but considering the situation she was in she didn’t. Why should he dream about her when all she dreams about is Sebastian. Guilt came over her again and again every time she thought about it. Maybe it would be better if she did tell him, but then he would go on a mad killing spree knocking down anyone that got in his way, and that would not be a good thing.

One clary twirled and struck the moving dummy that ran on a train circuit around the training room, two she counted in her head slicing the dummy in half, she scanned the room looking for more things to hit and spotted a dummy with three heads bobbing in gangly manner. Clary sprinted towards it unnecessarily fast jumped and front flipped over the dummy while still in the air she decapitated all of the heads three. She landed perfectly in a crouched position.

Clary stood and whipped off the fake ichor that was dripping off of her seraph blade. She had just started her seraph blade training and already was getting quite good at it. She hung her weapon up on the wall and decided to switch to her favourite. It had no specific name, it was just dagger although it did have runes engraved into the blade, but what no one knew was that clary engraved her own runes into one of them and she always had it with her. She pulled it out of the tiny pocket she made in her combat boots for it and held just how Jace taught her. Clary walked over to the padded poles in the right corner of the room spread in a checkerboard formation furthest away from the door. She pulled out her other dagger this one without any runes and set to work.

Flying across the room, jumping on top of and over the poles stabbing them repeatedly. You’re so worthless Clarissa Sebastian’s voice echoed in her mind. You know the only thing your good for is sex, reproduction. We can make our bloodline stronger Clarissa. Together, the last of the Morgensterns. Valentines children. We’ll make our own children. I promise I’ll keep you safe. It won’t hurt Clarissa. But that she knew was a lie. It hurt every day. The physical pain wasn’t there but the emotional pain was. She just couldn’t get him out of her head. Why can’t he just go away? Why can’t she just have a normal brother? Why can’t he just leave her alone! Clary gave a roar of frustration and took down yet another dummy, but she didn’t stop there. Once it was down she hacked and hacked at the fake carcus lying on the ground. Why did Sebastian have to be so cruel? Why did he have to come and rape her, she didn’t need that in her life! Enough was going on without that complication.

Tears brimmed in her eyes, I will not cry, I will not cry but thinking about it just brought more tears and soon she was sobbing, her chest rocking with every breath that forced their way into her lungs. Clary curled up in a ball her head wresting on her knees as she slid into the corner. She didn’t know how long she stayed like that but was eventually aware of someone opening the doors to find her there. She didn’t want to look weak, she tried to stand and make it look like she was just stretching on the wall, but her knees gave in as she fell into a warm and familiar, tight embrace.

“Jace…” She whispered.

_

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Long time no see people! Sorry its late and short but my sister wants me too hang out in the lounge room (ugh) and I really just wanted this up so I didn't  lose you guys!! :)  feel free to comment what you think and please point out my spelling mistakes!

Thanks for reading!