The Kept Secret (Slowly Editing)

Chapter 12: Feelings

(Unedited, 2nd draft)

Chapter 12: Feeling

I lay here in the guest bedroom of Chance's mom's house with Ayanna sound asleep next to me. I haven't been able to stop pounding on what his mother told me earlier on how Chance always having a soft spot for me. What I couldn't understand if he felt this way, why he doesn't tell me. I looked around the moonlit room knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight as long as I dwell on this unanswered question.

Getting up I walked out the door to Chance's bedroom door to talk to him but contemplate against it. Apparently that every time we try talking we ended up fighting. Walking out into the low light hallway, I took in the quietness of the house. How everyone was having a peaceful night when my mind was running a mile' a minute. Going past Chance's room, I couldn't see any lights on telling me that most likely he was asleep.

Going down stairs thinking a glass of warm milk would help ease my mind and help me sleep. I turn on the kitchen light and went to the fridge to get the milk and heating it up on the stove before pouring it into a mug. Once it was all done, I walked outside to enjoy the crisped cool March air.

At first I didn't see him sitting by the pool till I walked closer to the pool and saw him sitting there, in some basketball shorts and a white shirt. The closer I got I could see how he was soaking his feet in the water while drinking out a bottle of liquor.

"Chance," I let myself be known, so he didn't think I was spying on him. "What are you doing out here?"

He turned to look behind him at me, before turning back into the pool "Just go back to bed Milly. We don't need Ayanna scared if she wakes up and see you missing, in an unknown place." He commanded, taking yet another drink.

"Believe me that girl is dead to the world at the moment. I haven't had a problem with her waking up in the middle of the night since she was a baby," I try to make light on the situation while sitting cross-legged next to him. "So why aren't you asleep like everyone else?"

He looked over at me, I took in his glossy green eyes, telling me that he was undeniably drunk at the moment. With the dark circle that had appeared under his eyes from the lack of sleep, I could sense that I needed to get him to bed and stop drinking. "I could ask you the same thing."

I let out a deep sigh knowing this wasn't the time to talk about what his mother told me, with him being drunk. "Just thinking about things."

"Same here." he answered, looking away from me and back at the water under us.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked, bring my mug down next to me.

"What's the point? We'll just start fighting again. That's all we do is argue with one another, which gets us nowhere from solving our problems." He replies taking yet another drink from the bottle. "I know you hate me, Milly. You think I'm just this player who got you pregnant and didn't care a rat's ass about you, but that's not it at all. When you left I felt as if my soul dead, putting me into a deep depression. Then I saw you walk out of the elevator that day at the hospital and I felt alive again. The selfish part of this all was when I was holding you after your father passing. I was over the moon, knowing I had you back into my life. Milly, you're like a drug to me that I can't live without. That's why I fight with us so much, because no matter how hard you push me away, I'm only going to fight that much harder. Then hopefully one day you will see that we're meant for one another."

I was baffled by his statement that I was unsure on what to say that, wouldn't lead to us fighting either. I was just as tired of it as he was. We need to learn to get along, for Ayanna sack and not hold the way he was when we were younger against him anymore. "Chance..."