Learn To Love.

Chapter 8

Red was on the couch. Sans sat at the table with a sad, dark feeling in his ribcage.

"I didn't know he was having an episode," Papyrus said. He was sweating. "I'm so fuckin' sorry-"

"It isn't your fault," Sans said at once.

"No- no, it is my fault- I got mad at him and he thought I was going to hurt him." Papyrus grimaced and stilled his hands. "Fuck- he thought I was going to hurt him-"

"It's not because of you," Sans said immediately. "You know he'd never be scared of you."

Papyrus swore under his breath, but he didn't argue. Sans clutched his glass of water and stared down at the surface.

"Why does he have to deal with this?" Papyrus said, and there was a deep, cold anger behind the words. "He doesn't fucking deserve this. God- fucking damn it, bro, it isn't fair."

"We just have to be here for him," Blue said softly. He hated it- seeing the awful, soul-stopping fear in Red's eyes, knowing there was nothing he could do to ease his pain- he hated every moment of it.

"Fuck, dude, should we... should we try to get him some help? Going to talk to the doctor helped me- they might be able to do something about the psychosis, right?"

"We can try," Sans said. "He won't want to, but we can try."

"He can't keep going like he is... it's been four years- he isn't getting better. Last week I joked about him eating out of a dog bowl cause he was being messy and he nearly passed out- he thought I was serious."

"I know. I know, Papy."

"It's hurting him, bro, I know it is... I think having you there helps a lot, but love and kissing isn't going to cure his goddamn mental issues."

"I know..." Sans grimaced and looked away. "It... it might be the case that he won't ever get better. He's gone through so much, Papy, I... I don't like to think about it. He talks in his sleep sometimes."

Papyrus deflated, and his anger vanished. "He's opened up when we've gotten drunk. I feel so fucking bad."

"Even if he doesn't get better..." Sans began softly, "I... I still love him, and I want to be there for him."

"God, it isn't like I'm the one hurt by it," Papyrus said. "I don't care if we have to buy a new TV every couple of years- or- fuckin- I dunno, that's all extra shit I don't care about. I just want him to feel better." Papyrus stopped and put his head down. "He's still afraid of hurting you. I know he still thinks about it."

Sans said nothing. He knew that.

"He asked if I was okay with the two of you dating- he stopped himself, but he came damn close to asking if I was afraid of him... y'know. Again."

Sans stared down at his drink. He remembered it- of course he remembered it. He'd been scared and helpless and in pain, but his brother was there for him, to tell him he was okay, that it would never happen again. Red didn't have a brother like that.

"I can't even imagine it," Blue said quietly, weakly. "He said that they were close- him and his Papyrus. When they were kids." Sans felt pinpricks of tears in his sockets. "And he... he just decided one day to... to do that... to his own brother..."

"I would've killed myself, too," Papyrus said softly.

Sans opened his mouth to say something- how awful that was- but... he couldn't. He could hardly even think about it without his ribcage aching like it was being squished.

"Maybe we should talk to him about it?" Papyrus asked. "I know he doesn't like to... I wouldn't either, but... it might help?"

"We shouldn't force him, but it's worth a shot," Sans replied. "I think both of us might stress him out."

"You should be there when he wakes up," Papyrus said, and there was a well-concealed but tangible sadness in his voice. "He might be scared of me."

Blue nodded. "That sounds like a plan." He looked up at his brother, who was staring down and lost in thought. He'd always been there- to pick him up when he fell, cheer him up on bad days, Sans couldn't even imagine a life without his brother.

"I love you, Pap," Sans said.

"Love you too, bro," Papyrus said immediately, subconsciously, neither had to even think about it. Blueberry had always loved his brother no matter what.

He wanted Red to know what that felt like.