Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Chapter 2 - Face to Face

I hug my jacket tighter towards my body as I walk through the busy streets of New York. I don't know what made me decide to walk, but I'm regretting it now. Although the fresh, cold air is a relief compared to the clustered library. Every time I see Evan it's like all the air is sucked from the room and it becomes difficult to breathe. I'm not sure how long his presence with have this effect on me, but I'm hoping it won't be much longer.

Relief floods my body as my building comes into view. I wouldn't exactly call it home, but it's the closest thing I have to one. It's a building full of condos and mine is on the top floor. Sometimes I feel like I'm Rapunzel in the way that my mother wants to keep me locked away from the world. I guess it's the only way she can think of to keep me safe, especially after the accident.

I quickly shrug my shoulders as if trying to lift the memory from my mind.

"Miss Carson," the doorman smiled as he opens the door.

"Thanks Patrick," I shudder. I don't bother to look around the lobby crowded with people as my feet carry me to the elevators. After a couple of minutes filled with annoying elevator music, I finally reach the top floor. Our condo occupies the entire floor, although I'm not sure why we need that much space. It's just my mother and I now.

"Where have you been?" My mother questions as soon as the door opens.

"Library," I remark while pushing past her.

"And how did you get back?"

Here we go again.

"I walked."

"What have I told you about that?" She scolded. "I think you do this on purpose to scare me half to death."

"Why would I do that, mother?" I shriek. She thinks every decision I make is chosen just to spite her.

"I don't know!" She almost yells. "Especially after.." She stops herself. She didn't have to finish the sentence for me to know what she's talking about.

"Mom.." I whisper. "I would never intentionally hurt you like that. I wouldn't do that to you. I know how that would affect you."

"Sometimes you just don't think, Carson." She's silently crying now as she hugs herself.

I don't hesitate to wrap her in my arms. "You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't possibly leave you."

She hugs me tighter and I know that I've been selfish. The accident took a bigger toll on her than I could have ever imagined. I should be trying my hardest to make her feel comfortable, if that's even possible. I'm all she has left.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

She doesn't reply, she only squeezes me tighter and I know that I'm forgiven.

She sniffles a little more before releasing me and wiping her tear stained cheeks.

"Do you want to go out for dinner?"

I raise my eyebrows. "You actually want to leave the room?"

"Maybe we could head to the restaurant downstairs." I knew she wouldn't be able to handle leaving the building, but this is still a huge step nonetheless.

I smile at her before pulling her into my arms again. "I love you, mom."

"I love you," she whispers back. "Now go get ready." With a pat to my back, she's on her way to get dressed.

It's been five months since the accident and this is the first time that I feel we'll actually be okay.

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