That smile

Mended

I spend the New Years in the hospital taking rehab classes. They haven't found my mom yet... But today is my last rehab class. I go home. And tomorrow I go back to school. I sit with a group of people who all tried to take their own lives.
The coach stands up. "Well today is our last day with a few of you. I'm amazed at how all of you improved." He smiles.
I've only been here for a couple of days. But some have been here for months. I even recognize a guy from school. Rocky. I wondered why he disappeared all the sudden last year.
"I'm going to give you guys something to think about. Who saved you from your attempt to take your life? What is at family member? Friend? Loved one? Or your mind? Trust me, if it was a person, they just saved your life. You have a lot to thank them for." He chuckled.
Oh. My. Gosh. I'm so dumb. Ethan saved my life, he wasted his time and effort saving me. And all I did was yell at him. I didn't even thank him.

After class I got to get a drink from the water fountain. I see Rocky leaning against the wall. I smile and wave at him, he returns the favor. We've been doing that since I got here. Maybe I should talk to him?
"Hey Rocky. I don't know if you remember me. I'm Penelope. I go to your school." I say.
"Yeah. Your the girl who got pushed around all the time. Is that why you tried to... You know..." He said scratching his head.
"No. It's a lot more personal." I say.
"Ah, I see. Well I'll be honest with mine. OD'd..." He said.
"I'm sorry."
"Eh, don't be. I'm a new person now. I'm actually going to school next week." He said smiling.
"That's cool. They're letting me go today." I said.
"Sick! Hey, I remember seeing you at the music competition last month on tv. Did you win?" He asked.
"I'm actually not sure yet. You like that type of tv show." I said.
"Oh yeah! If I wasn't in here I totally would've went! I'm a drummer desperate for a band to join." He said.
Then an idea pops in my head.
"Hey if everything works out, We can start a band! We just need a couple of more people." I said.
"That would be awesome!" He said.
"Yeah! Lets hang out in a couple of weeks and we can have a jam session." I said.
"Sounds good. I'll see you at school." He walks away.

At school, I get a lot more stares than usual. Even a few laughs and people throwing stuff at me. I ignore them and go to my locker. I'm sad when I notice Ethan isn't there. He didn't even show up to lunch. Neither did Buck or Jessica or James. James the traitor that is...
Before I know it, school is over. I feel bummed that I didn't get to see my friends.
The back of someone's head catches my eye. My eyes feel with tears.
"Ethan!" He turns around and sees me through the crowded hall way. But he didn't seems happy at all.
I decided to run for him. I run and jump into his arms hugging him. He spins me around as we hug.
"I love you Ethan! I'm so sorry for not thanking you for saving my life. I love you so much!" I say.
He puts me down, grabs my face and kisses me.
"I love you too." Her murmurs over my lips.
"Hey! None of that on school grounds." A couple of kids tease us. I see Ethans hand form into a fist.
I put my hand on his chest. "And that's our cue to leave." We exit out of the school.
"Can I buy you lunch?" He asks. I nod. "You know." He grabs my hand. "I guess I've never asked you to be my girlfriend." He smirks.
"And?..."
"Penelope, love of my life, would you be my girlfriend?" He says.
"Ethan, I would love to...-" I stop dead in my tracks when I meet the eyes of the person in front of me. My heart shatters as the person in front of me stares back at me.
"Penelope." My... My dad...
He takes of his hat. I don't know what to do.
"You look so different." He says. I don't know if I'm mad or happy? He frowns. My gaze is frozen on him. "I know I don't have the right to be here right now. I heard about your mom and I felt so guilty. I was never there for you, or your mother. But I want to be here now." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for everything I've done. I was a horrible example to you. I left you with nothing. I'm deeply sorry. Please, I'm asking... No..." He gets on his knees. "I'm begging for your forgiveness." He says. Tears were wetting his cheeks.
I let go of Ethans hand. I take a step towards him and kneel down. I wrap my arms around him and hug him.
"I forgive you." I whisper.
He hugs me tightly.
"I've missed you so much." I cry on his shoulder.
"I missed you too, sweetheart." He said.
We stay like that for a few minutes. Then I stand up.
"I'm just... Slightly... Very little... Kind of confused..." Ethan says.
"This is my dad." I said.
"Oh." He looks shocked.
"And dad this is...-"
"Ethan, her boyfriend." Ethan shakes my dads hand with the biggest smile on his face.
"Boyfriend eh?" My dad says. I nod. "Well I guess I have no say so in this. But, um, I'm staying in a hotel down the road if you want to stay with me until they find your mother."
"I'm staying with pastor Daniel for now. I want to get to know you more before I let you back in my life." I say.
"I will respect that decision. But, did you say pastor?" He asked.
"Moms boyfriend." I nod.
He looks shocked at first but then he lightens up.
"I'm glad she found someone." He smiles.

At the beginning of the school year, I would never imagine my life to be what it's like now. I was quiet, living in my own little world with just my mom as a non believer. Now I have an incredible boyfriend. My dads back. And I'm a Christian. It's crazy how life goes on. It never goes as planned. And it probably never will. Even though I'm terrified for my mom, I will continue to pray for her. And I have the support of many people who love me. Who actually care about Penelope.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (‭Psalm‬ ‭18‬:‭2‬ NIV)