A Fractured Echo

Chapter 19

Arriving at the pub to meet Jackson, I deliberately got there early so I could snag a decent table. Nursing a mineral water while I waited, it wasn't lost on me that from the outside this appeared to be an almost reverse version of the same scenario only twenty-four hours before. The stark contrast being there would be no ugly confrontation or manhandling at the end of the conversation. Still, there was a ripple of anxiety as I sat quietly in the corner. If he finally felt comfortable letting down his walls, then it carried a huge significance for our friendship. Full acceptance and trust. There was such a fine line when it came to those, and coming from a position where there was an instant suspicion of anyone's motives around me, it was the very reason my own circle of trust was so small. I fully understood the desire to remain guarded, especially when dealing with people who were, for the greater part, an unknown quantity. For that reason, I'd never actively sought to prove worthy of another person's trust, it was far more important for them to see what I believed was the 'real' me. Ironic, considering I still had no clue who the hell I was, but deep in my soul, underneath all the layers of confusion and doubt, I knew with one hundred percent certainty, I was true to myself...regardless of what the truth about my past turned out to be. The word authentic seemed terribly cliché, yet it was the most appropriate description I could think of.

My entire being buzzed with the thought of slotting another piece into place. The liaison officer seemed optimistic when I'd spoken to her earlier about what I'd remembered, and the plan to retrace my steps to give my brain a bit of a gentle prod. We'd agreed to meet up after the weekend to get everything documented, which would then mean she could then treat it as a new line of inquiry. In terms of a step forward, the significance was monumental, yet there was also an undeniable element of worry at where this could lead me. I was caught in a revolving door where depending on which exit I stepped out of, I'd either find the peace of mind craved since the accident or be left horrified by the truth.

Taking a sip of mineral water, the weight of the last couple of days finally caught up with me. Closing my eyes, I leaned back against the cushioned sofa, allowing a deep sigh to escape my weary form. There was a risk fatigue would claim me if Jackson didn't arrive soon.

A few moments later, the seat next to me dipped with the weight of someone taking up residence in my bubble.

"Penny for them." A low, comforting voice whispered in my ear as he nudged my arm gently.

Not even bothering to open my eyes, I shook my head. "You'd make a shit ninja."

"Pah...you have no idea how stealthy I can be, woman." He nudged me playfully in the ribs, causing a chuckle to tumble from my mouth as I finally looked at him.

Exhaustion marred his usually perfect features, something which escaped my notice the night before. Those piercing blue eyes that would study people with ferocious interest, appeared dull and lifeless, not to mention the dark circles resting above the apples of his cheeks. It hadn't even registered that his neatly trimmed stubble was now a slightly out of control mass, leaving me questioning whether he'd groomed at all while he'd been away. It was a stark contrast to the sharp black suit and crisp grey shirt he wore, looking like he'd come straight from whatever meeting he'd been in. Loosening the matching black tie, he slid the offending article out of his collar, folding the item carefully, before sliding it into the pocket of his jacket. Finally, he undid the top two buttons of the shirt with a satisfied sigh, finally able to relax.

"You look like you've not slept since you left. We can rain check if you want?" Any conversation we'd planned on having could be benched for another time. It worried me that whatever happened in New York had caused such an outwardly negative effect.