Finding You// JJK FF

Hatred

Haeyeon's pov:

Jinkyung walked away and at that moment I really hope that she falls down and hits her face hard on the floor till her face becomes dislocated. How could she be so rude to someone she just met and barely know anything about?! I walked to the room that I was told before in the car and it was really big. It was almost the size of a living room. I walked to the closet and started unpack my clothes and for some reason, I suddenly felt sad and pathetic.

The closet was so big and my clothes couldn't even fill one quarter of it. I looked at myself in the mirror next to it and again, I started to get emotional. Tears fill my eyes and the moment I blinked, they rolled down uncontrollably. I indeed looked horrible and my clothes made me look dirty because I've been wearing them for the past 3 years and they were all tattered and torn. I curled myself into a ball and started to cry my eyes out.

'I'm a dirty pilgrim. Nobody will like me. I'm a good for nothing. I'm useless to this world, "family"and myself. I shouldn't be adopted. There are so many people in the orphanage who are better than me. Why me?! I'm the oldest in the orphanage but I have no friends, no money and most of all no life. I don't even know what I can do in life. I'm just wasting my life. I hate living in this world. It makes me feel so cautious and want to kill myself.'

Just as I was crying, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly wiped my tears and pretended to be resting. Mrs Im walked in and sat next to me. I sniffled softly and wiped the remaining tears in my eyes while looking away. I felt a light pat on my head and I turned over. Mrs Im gave me a motherly look in her eyes that made me remember when my mum used to comfort me when I was young. Whenever I cried, she would comfort me by patting me or hugging me. I held back my tears as memories of my mum flooded my mind.

"Just let your tears out, Haeyeon. Also don't take Jinkyung's words too seriously. She can be quite mean to those whom we bring home. She's a spoilt child and I really regret it. Now now. Don't hold in your sadness. It won't be good for yourself. "

I literally felt as if my mum was back by my side and I just cried and instinctively hugged her. I loved my mum. After she was gone, I found myself crying everyday and almost every minute that I have alone. I was always referred as the crybaby back in the orphanage and that was why no one wants to talk to me and wants to be my friend. My self esteem soon became low and I talk to other people and I turned to a reserved and friendless girl. I know that I lead a sad and tragic life but I too don't know why I'm even living on this earth. My life just didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be.

I could almost flood the room in my tears. Mrs Im stayed with me and comforted me through the whole night and it was a heart warming moment. The next day, I noticed that Mrs Im left and I went to my closet. It was half opened and the moment I opened it, it was fully vandalised and my clothes were all over the place.

What happened?

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To be continued