Dirty Little Secret (Murphamy Highschool AU)

I Used to be Him

**** Murphy POV******

I'm so embarrassed. I don't even know what I was thinking. Why would he be waving at me, especially after what happened in the hallway. My mind thinks back to everything that happened with Alex, a kid I knew in one of my old foster homes, and the reason I had to leave it. I shoot a look over my shoulder, and I see the four of them laughing and having a good time, with that girl, Anya, draped all over Bellamy. I don't care about that, but even Finn and Raven were sitting over there, and I still had no one sitting with me. I feel the tears swell in my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away, but they keep coming. It isn't until I feel a body drop into the chair next to me that I really noticed the amount of tears that had accumulated, and I quickly wiped them away before looking at the tall tan boy next to me. I felt my mouth hanging open, but shut it quickly when I saw Finn and Raven drop into the two seats facing us. "I thought you guys already had a table?" That's the only thing I can think of to say. Bellamy looked at me, and I can see the guilty look on his face, and I know that he's sorry about what happened. "It got boring, and I couldn't see." I look up at him after his response, and I give him one of my famous half-grins. Normally they just laugh when they see the grin, but Bellamy just returns it. We're interrupted by Kane coming back into the room, and we pull out our notebooks as he gets started.

******** After Class Is Over*********

"Finn, its not Kane's fault that you can't understand a lick of Spanish." "Yes it is! He speaks too fast!! If he would just slow down, I wouldn't have a problem." We all die of laughter, because Finn is awful at Spanish, while Bellamy and Raven pick it up with no problem. It takes some work, but I pick it up ok. "I can't believe you're still complaining dude," Bellamy says, "We've officially made it halfway through the day, let it go." He was right, we were waiting in line for lunch, but I was dreading what happened next. Lunch was always terrible for me at my old schools, because nobody wanted to sit with the new kid at lunch, and I never stayed in one place long enough to make many friends. As I made my way through the line, I looked over at the opening into the rest of the cafeteria, and noticed how full it is. By this point in the year, everyone has found their niche, and has their friend group, and their friends already picked out, no one leaves an open seat. At my last school I ate outside, so when I looked out the big glass doors, I was delighted to see that there was a courtyard outside, and it was empty. When I made it to the front of the line and punch my number in the register, I instantly make a beeline for the doors, and I slip out before Finn or anyone else can realize I'm gone. I head across to the corner table in the courtyard, and slide onto the bench, with my back facing the doors. I look down at the lunch on my tray, and I wonder if this was worth all the emotional turmoil. I'm so focused on the runny mashed potatoes, I don't notice the shadow behind me until a mop of blonde hair plops down, and makes me drop my spoon in the runny white fluff. "What's up kid, Finn and Bellamy are looking for you." "Clarke, please don't sneak up on me like that." I really need to learn how to pay attention to my surroundings, "and I just figured you guys already had a table and everything, so I thought..." "You thought you wouldn't be welcome." Clarke finished my sentence for me, and we both shared a soft smile. " You do realize that Finn made a seating chart the day after you got here right? We made it at the party while you were in the bathroom. He made all of us memorize it." I feel my cheeks grow red, of course Finn would do this, it's just like him, but Bellamy? "Well, if you aren't going to come inside, looks like we'll all be coming out to join you." My head snaps over to where the blonde is leaning against the wall, and with a smile she whips around and walks purposefully back towards the school. Within two minutes I'm swarmed by a large mass of people telling me I'm an idiot. Finn smacks me on the back of the head, "Dude, don't just disappear on me, you scared me to death." I rub the back of my head, "I'm sorry guys, I just like sitting outdoors." With a couple more comments on my idiocy, and a few more well-placed hits from my foster brother (Wow, that's still weird to say) we all settled in and started to enjoy our lunch. Monty and Jasper are chatting about some video game that's coming out in a few days, Octavia and Lincoln are sitting next to each other, talking about their plans for tonight, while Lexa tries to ignore them and eat the cardboard the school is trying to pass as chicken. Raven and Clarke are working on an assignment for their Government class, Bryan and Miller are holding hands and looking at something on Miller's phone. Finn and Bellamy were staring at me from across the table. I was just trying to slurp up my white shit, and they wouldn't leave me alone. They kept asking if I was ok, if any jocks had bothered me, or looked at me funny. All the attention was making me uncomfortable. I looked back down at my food, or whatever it was, and thought about everything. So this is what it feels like to be normal. Hmm, this is new. I look over and see that Bellamy and Finn have moved on to whispering quietly to each other, so I feel my eyes wandering, and I was shocked when my eyes met another set across the courtyard. I stare at the deep brown iris' looking back at me, before taking in the sight of the rest of him. He reminds me of a tall chocolate milkshake, all smooth and dark. I look at the group surrounding me, none of them seem to be paying much attention to our new observer. I look over at the boy again, and he nods his head, as if inviting me to come over. I slowly slid out of my seat, no one was paying any attention, and I made my way over to where he was sitting. As I got closer to the mysterious boy, I noticed the small white cigarette in his hand. I was shocked that someone could get away with smoking in a private school. "What's up dude?" The kids voice was deep, and he had a slight southern draw. "I'm John, John Mbege" I let a slight laugh escape my mouth, and Mbege looked at me. "I'm also John, John Murphy." I saw a sparkle in his eyes. "Oh, so you're the new kid?" I felt my guard go up as I nodded, "Yes" He gave me a grin, and I was suddenly very scared of this kid, but still intrigued. "Oh boy, you have quite a week ahead of you." With that last statement, before I even have a chance to ask what he meant, he whips around and walks off, tossing his lit cigarette into a bush. I rush over and stomp it out, and when I turn around the entire group is staring back at me. I walk back to them slowly, and I'm shocked to see the various looks of horror and disdain. "What?" No one says anything at first, but then Clarke speaks up, "Do you know him?" I shake my head, "I mean, I just met him. His names John too, we actually had a good laug...." "You really don't want to spend time with him and his friends, they're bad news." Finn's words struck a nerve. I may not know this kid very well, but I know his type, I used to be his type. "You know, back when I first entered the system, I was in a pretty dark place. I started to make some really dumb choices, and I became basically the person Mbege is." Raven tries to reach a hand out on my shoulder, but I shrug it off. "I used to be the one smoking in school, I came to class drunk, I wore the leather, the chains. I was a tough inner city bad boy. At least, that's what I wanted to believe. I was actually just a scared, angry kid who had just lost all of his family, and my foster family just announced that I was getting sent back to the orphanage. So maybe you all shouldn't judge him when you barely know him." With my last huff of air, I grab my bag and walk in the glass doors. I skirt along the walls of the cafeteria, and make my way into the main hallway. I really shouldn't have flipped on everyone like that, its just that, it took me a long time to make my way from that point in my life, it took a lot of emotions. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, they may be right. after all, what did he mean, "You have quite a week ahead of you." I start to freak out a little bit, I mean what did he mean? Is something going to happen to me? I feel myself start to spiral, but I catch myself, and take a deep breath. You barely know the kid, you don't have to believe what he says. I keep moving farther into the hallway, but my steps begin to slow as I start to realize what just happened. I just flipped out on my only friends, because I was defending a random ass kid who gave me a cryptic message that probably means nothing. Wow, my first day is going so well. I start to slow down after I realize I passed my locker halfway down the hallway. I turn back and walk along the row of blue lockers, until I reach mine. Locker 4190, the last one in the row. I put my combination in, and put all of the books that I don't have homework for inside. "I'm Sorry" I jump when I hear the voice from behind my locker door. I quickly close my locker door, and see Finn leaning against the locker next to mine. I shake my head, "No, it's ok, I'm sorry. I kind of overreacted." I look back over at him, and see the kind smile on his face. "At least now we know not to fuck with you." I give him a shy smile. I'm glad to see they don't hate me, but I still feel terrible. "Hey, could you ask everyone to come over tonight, I just want to apologize to everyone." I see him start to chuckle, and he starts to slowly nod his head. "Seriously dude, you need to stop worrying, no one is mad at you." I feel myself loosen up a little bit, it's weird how easily this kid calms me down. I start to move away from my locker, and Finn wraps his arm over my shoulder as we start down the hallway. "So what do you have next?" I pull my schedule out of my back pocket. "Gym, you?" A smile blooms on the brunettes face, "Psych, but you have gym with Bellamy." My smile melts away in an instant, and my face goes pale. Finn must be able to tell that something is wrong, because his volume drops, "Dude, what's wrong." "Bellamy kissed me today." As soon as the words leave my mouth I regret saying them. Finn get's this huge smile on his face and claps me on the back. " Good job man!!! Isn't that what you wanted?" I shake my head, "No, I wanted something real, not some rushed kiss after he was just pushed to the ground by some asshole jock." Finn's face went slack, and he opened is mouth and closed it multiple times, as if he was wondering if he should say something or not. "Listen Murphy,...." He gets interrupted by the bell dismissing everyone to their next class. He shakes his head at me, says "Just, give Bellamy time, I'll see you later." Then he disappears in a sea of people. I stop for a second, shake my head at the shadow of the boy who was just standing there, and I start to move down the hallway towards the gym.

***** A.N.**********

So....... hey, sorry I kind of lost track of how this is going. I lost my way a little bit, so I'm sorry for the wait, but I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I have my mojo back now so the next chapter shouldn't be too far behind