Dirty Little Secret (Murphamy Highschool AU)

Regret

Bellamy POV

What have I done. I know it was the wrong thing to do. I know he has feelings for me, and I took advantage of that to make myself feel better. I feel terrible, Murphy must feel terrible. He was just trying to help me, and I took advantage of him. Although, what worries me more, is that I... felt.... something. It's too late now though,  I'm already in class. I look up at the board. Chemistry II with Mr. Emerson was projected on the screen. I look around from my seat next to Lincoln,  and I notice that I'm the only person in the room who isn't a senior. "Hello students. My name is Mr. Emerson, and I will be teaching you the fundamentals of chemistry this year." I look around, trying to find where he is standing, until I see he is projected on the screen. I see what looks like a hospital patient room, and I'm thoroughly confused. "I can tell based on your confused looks, that no one has told you about my condition. You see, I have what can be described as minute agoraphobia. That's the fear of stepping outdoors. So, I do all my teaching from home, or the doctors office, whatever I happen to be doing that day." I look over at Lincoln and shrugged, I guess it wouldn't be that bad. My eyes look over Lincoln's shoulder, and I see him. The guy, you know, the one who targets me. His name is Roan, Roan Azgeda. He's the captain of the football team, and he was the one responsible for the incident. Lincoln must have noticed my change in behavior and he looked over his shoulder and saw who I was looking at, then turned back and gave me a look. I know I could never beat him in a fight, but I still wanted to beat him with a steel chair for everything he put me through. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely pathetic, I have some muscle, but most of it is in my legs. I'm a runner, well, I used to be a dancer, but I stopped after the incident. I look back up at the board, and I see Mr. Emerson's face looking back at me. "You must be the special sophomore student who was so advanced he was shipped off to my class, is that correct?" I blush and look down at the desk in front of me, "Yes, sir" I respond, my eyes not leaving my pencil tray. "Well, Mr. Blake, I look forward to seeing what you can do." I look up at the board, and see Mr. Emerson smiling down at me, and I think that maybe this class won't be that bad after all. Until I hear the coughing/ laughter coming from behind me. I turn in my chair and see Roan, and the rest of the football jerks sitting around him, attempting to not laugh too loud. I turn back around, my heart full of dread; even with the best intentions, Mr. Emerson had just enlarged the target on my back. He doesn't notice any of this though, as he turns around to the small board behind him, and starts to teach a lesson on chemical equations. I slide another notebook out of my bag, and prepare myself for one of the hardest periods of my life.

***** The End Of Class*****

"And I think that will be enough for today. Go ahead and back up your things, you have about five minutes left until the bell." Mr. Emerson then turns around and begins to reset for the next class. I breath a sigh of relief, sliding my notebook into my bag. It's only the first day, but I have already used two full sheets of paper. I look over at Lincoln,  who's shaking his hand out,  wincing in pain. It may have been a lot to write, but I had no problems understanding what Emerson was teaching. Now that I'm not focused on a mass amount of notes and facts, my mind drifts back to what happened in the hallway, with Roan and Murphy. I shoot a glare towards Roan,  who looks back at me with a smug look, as if he knows what I'm thinking about, him shoving me, not the kiss, I hope. "Hey Lincoln," he gives me a look. We've had enough serious conversations that he recognizes the tone. "What's up?" I rub my neck, and he gives me another look. "Dude, you always rub your neck when you get nervous or uncomfortable." I sigh, and take a breath. "Well, you see...... RoanpushedmedownandwhenIstoodupIwasmadandthenIsortofkissedMurphyandranaway........" I stop and take a breath. I always talk fast when I get nervous. Lincoln let's out a low whistle, takes a breath, and is about to open his mouth...... when the bell rings. He gives me an apologetic look, before we both stand up, and make our way towards the door. Lincoln is first out, but then I get cut off by a swarm of kids. As I make my way to the door again, I feel my self flying as I get shoved again, by Roan probably, and I land crashing into several desks. By the time I look up, there is no one around, but Mr. Emerson is looking down at me, with a worried expression. "Bellamy,  are you ok?" I just nod and run out the door. I race through the halls, gliding between people without touching anyone, my old grace coming into play. I make it all the way to my locker before I look at something other than the ground in front of me. I put my hand up, and slowly fiddle with the combination until it opens. I start to exchange my notebooks and everything, until I feel a hand on my shoulder, when I whip around quickly, my fists raised, and came face to face with Finn and Raven. "Woah dude, what's with the fists of fury?" Raven said taking a step back quickly. I took a deep breath and settled back into a relaxed position. I turn back to my locker, grab my books and close it. "Sorry, I thought it was Roan again. " I explain, and Finn and Raven share a look. "Is he bothering you again? After everything you would think could just leave you alone," Finn said, anger in his voice. "Listen it was nothing, he was just being a dick, it doesn't matter anyway. I just need to get to class." I try to scoot out around them, but I'm blocked by a tan pile of lean muscles. "Finn, just please move, I need to get to Spanish." "Well, you are in luck mister. Raven and I are going to Kane too." I can feel the smirk creep onto my face. This is what Finn does, he presses hard on the charm when he knows that I don't want to talk about it. That just makes him an even better friend, the fact that he just knows. I guess, since he's been helping me after the incident, he just knows when I'm uncomfortable. We start the short walk to Kane's room, as Finn and Raven take turns telling the story of some drama with some rando Atom kid, and how the police were involved in something he did over the summer. We slide in the room and find out that we are the first ones in the room, and Kane is standing behind his desk, looking through some papers. He looks up, and I see an amused look flash across his gaze. "Of course I get you three, I'm just that lucky, you guys just pick a group. I'm not having assigned seats, you can sit anywhere, and can change your seat whenever you want." We nod, and choose a group of four desks near the back of the room. Finn and Raven are still talking, when I see a group of people walk in the doorway,  and my heart stops. There she is, Anya, standing in the midst of a large group crowding through the door. Anya Trikru was one of the hottest girls in our grade, and we've gotten together a couple times. I wave at her, but see two people walking over. I finally realize its Murphy, and the realization smacks me in the face. Anya arrives first, sits in the empty desk, kisses me on the cheek, and drapes herself on my arm. Murphy walks over, but when he sees Anya all over me, he just nods slightly, and then walks to a desk on the opposite side of the room. I feel terrible, not only did I kiss him and run away, but I also just toyed with his emotions more than I already have, without even meaning to. I feel terrible and look over to Finn to see what he thinks. He gives me a questioning glance, but when he looks from Anya, to me, to Murphy,  and back to me, I see the realization hit him, and the look transitions into something more empathetic,  as if he can feel how conflicted I feel. I look over at Murphy again, and catch sight of the back of his shirt, which says, in bold letters, DON'T BE A WIMP, MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICES. I read the words several times, and I know what I should do. I lightly tug away from Anya. "Hey guys, I can't really read the board so well, maybe we should move to another group." I catch Raven and Finn's eyes, and they nod. "But Bellaboo, I like it here." Anya whines, and I roll my eyes mentally. " Sorry babe, but I need to see." Raven, Finn, and I walk over to Murphy's table, and plop down in the empty seats, scaring him. I look at his eyes, and see the tears in the corner, even as he attempts to wipe them away. "I thought you guys already had a table?" He says. "It got boring, and I couldn't see." I respond, and when he looks up, I'm greeted with a small grin, which I return gratefully.

***** Author's Note*****
Sorry it is so late, I've been super busy. Drop a comment if you like it so far. Also, give me some ideas on fun things to add to the story.

I am also in the process of writing a one-shot (possible smut) that will take place in one of Murphy's old foster families. So look out for it!!