New or Old Love?

Talk

They waited. Waited for you to show up. To talk to them. But they feared you would not. However, when they heard your motorbike pull up, a small shiver of hope coursed through their bodies. 
"What the fuck are you all doing here?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at Moriarty's Gang and Rick. 
"Y/n, we're here to talk to you" Rick said gently, you scoffed at him and shook your head. 
"I can't fucking believe this" you growled, taking a seat in the chair opposite the sofa they were sat on, and added, "Talk then." 
"Y/n, we know the past few weeks have been hard on you, but that doesn't mean you have to push us away" Dean began, looking to John for reassurance and finding it only when John gripped his hand and squeezed it tightly, the Welshman continued, "We love you, y/n. You're my best friend, Dwight's sister, Scott's friend, John's daughter, and Rick's best friend. We all need you, and none of us can bear to watch you burn yourself out. Please, just tell us why you're doing this." 
"That's exactly why I have to push you away, I don't wanna hurt anyone more than I have already. I love you all too, but I have to do this. It's helping me sort through my head, and I can't risk any of you getting burnt in the process" you told them, all the emotions flooding back and causing tears to dew in your eyes. You still had no idea what to do, where to go or even who you loved anymore. 
"Y/n, we ain't gonna get 'urt, or burnt. You know you need us all more now, than ever. We can 'elp you sort through your brilliantly barricaded mind. Just let us 'elp" John pleaded, you sighed and looked at him through tear-blurred eyes. 
"You can't help me, only I can help myself-"
"That's complete fucking bullshit and you know it" Scott jumped in, not caring about the risk of you clamming shut at his comment, he continued, "We helped you train. No, we trained you. We're as much to blame as you are. It's our fault you're in this mess. So shut up and listen to what we have to say. Continue, guys." 
"What we're trying to say, y/n, is that you're our mate, our family. We'd do anything for you, and we don't want you to think that the only way to help yourself is to keep going out and risking your life on supply runs. We don't think it's right that you're suffering alone" Dwight said, you felt the tears dig trenches into your face then and you held your head in your hands. 
"Guys, it's not your burden to carry" you told them, to which they all scoffed. 
"A burden? Seriously, y/n? You think it's a burden that we all wanna help? Look, I'm gonna ask you something okay? And I want you to give me an honest answer," Rick paused, his southern drawl created a more tense atmosphere than he had intended, "Do you love me?" 
"No" you answered, throughout the time you had to think, you realised that you didn't love Rick, or Negan, you just loved the idea of them; the feeling, of course, had meant that you thought you did love them, and you fooled yourself into thinking you did. 
"Do you love Negan?" the men asked in unison, you gulped and shook your head. 
"No, I love the idea of both you and Negan, Rick. But I don't actually love either of you, I'm sorry." you sobbed. 

After your shocking revelation, things had changed. Negan carried on as usual, despite the fact that he felt as if there was a hole in his black heart. Rick had slowly built his friendship with you once again, and he slowly moved on, he eventually managed to ask Michonne and the two of them couldn't have been happier. Moriarty's Gang joined up once more, you taking your position as Moriarty once again, which made you glad in an odd way; the Gang was as closely knit as it had ever been, and no-one was surprised when you joined the Saviours' ranks and climbed up until you were almost on-par with your now best friend Negan. Things were well, or as well as they could have been. 

And that was how life was.