Beauty within the beast

Beyond shocked

*Still in Romans Pov

Three weeks had passed in a blur, I can barely focus or actually care about anything going on around me. As I head to the room where I know she is in, I notice the paintings I've painted throughout the years. It is of all the good memories.. Before everything happened. It's funny how things turned sour so suddenly.

I finally end up in front of the big wooden door to hear sounds of things being moved around. I open the door hastily to see a figure hurrying around the room, arms full of clothing.

Silvia.

Her hair is messy and clumpy, she hasn't brushed or moved out of the bed for weeks , I have had to force her out of bed for her to even take her shower.

I don't blame her.. It's because of my actions , she's this way.

I'm a monster.

As she realizes that she's not alone in the room, she hesitantly turns to me. Her eyes has black bags like-rings around her usual bright sparkling eyes, her face is red and swollen due to the fact she cries every night. Of course only I could hear her cry, I insisted in staying in the same floor -the very top. She isolated herself from everyone and refuses to talk to anyone, especially me. The sounds of her heartbreaking cries stopped me from even getting a wink of sleep. But after all, she lost our baby. I'll never forgive myself.. Never, I hate myself and deserve hell. She did some despicable things as well but she doesn't even deserve what I did to her. My anger controlled me to the point where I don't even recognize myself.

"What are you doing?" My voice comes out weak and hoarse.

She doesn't answer, she has that far off look in her eye, as if she is just an empty shell.

I take a step forward -which she flinches and turns around in response.

I'm despicable, I'm like my father..

She's leaving, my eyes dart to the open to the huge suitcase in the middle of the bed. My heart, if even possible,  breaks even more, especially since I know I can't stop her. She crams the remaining items in her suitcase, grabbing it and yanking it off the bed.

As she goes to walk past me, my hand in instinct reaches out and grabs her hand gently. She freezes, probably shocked on how it's been awhile since I embraced her hand. She then yanks it out of my hand as if it is scolding hot, turning around to face me with a livid expression.

Her hand pounds on my chest violently which causes me to stumble back in shock.

"Don't ever touch me again." Her voice drenched in hatred and malice. My eyes dart to the floor as they burn with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry." I mumble, it's the truth, sorry doesn't even explain how regretful I feel. I'm not afraid to admit how sorry I feeI. I  swallowed my pride and learned to except how I was and apologize for what I've done.

"Don't you dare apologize to me you bastard!" She screams, her hand flying up, harshly impacting with my face. My head slightly turns to the side, I do nothing at all, in fact she should just bash my head in with a baseball bat, things would be much better that way.

"I know I can't change your mind, or be able to apologize enough, but I love you and wish you the best." I choke out, forcing the lump down my throat, emotion isn't something I like to show, but with Silvia I let my guard down.

"I hate you! I hate you! I don't and never loved you! Are you that ridiculous?" She exclaims with a bitter laugh. She's become bitter and silent throughout the weeks but I haven't seen the full rage until now.