Unexpected

| xxvi | a boy like that (part one)

I'm sorry.

xxvi~ he'll murder your love, he murdered mine

As soon as Erin falls asleep, Grayson puts out the cigarette. He removes his head from her heartbeat reluctantly. He wants to hear it for as long as it will last, but he must also ensure her safety. Their safety. Grayson knows that she will be the one who gets accused of Phil's murder. He cannot see that happen. He will not let her be unjustly punished again.

He will take every burden from her and release it to the wind the way his were. Where they are going, no one will ever hurt them. There will be no pain. The sun will constantly shine from somewhere within them, and the air upon their skin will always be warm. He knows that she will be happy. It may take her a while to get used to it, but once she does she will never want to go back.

He pulls on his clothes, the familiar denim and cotton that he has not changed out of since his birthday. Once he is dressed, he goes to Erin.

She is beautiful, lit by the blue light coming from the television. The shapes of her breasts are outlined by flickering color and her skin glows. Her lips are parted and her eyes closed peacefully. He wants her to stay with him forever. He can never, ever lose her, or else he will lose his sanity. She is all he has anymore.

Carefully, to make sure he does not wake her, he slips her underwear back on, closely followed by her nightgown. She stirs slightly as his fingers hover over the buttons, but she does not wake. He gently brushes her hair away from her face and bruised neck, now red from something more than an attempted choke hold.

Next are her boots. He knows that she loves them, and has enough knowledge to know that they were once her father's. He doubts that she even knows it. He slides them over her boxy feet and slowly ties them up. They are comically large around her golden ankle.

He picks her up so that she is leaning against his shoulder. Sure enough, she is fast asleep and goes with him willingly. He puts his jacket over her shoulders, buttoning it as tight as it will go. He does not want her to be cold; he wants her to be comfortable. And happy. And with him.

He leans her against her headboard and grabs what he has placed atop her dresser. He slides it into his back pocket. As if in another world, he hears the end credits of the movie. Thinking at the last minute, he unplugs the television. He leaves the video in the player, thinking that they can come back for it later.

Grayson picks Erin up; she weighs nearly nothing. The days of limited food have had a huge impact on her; she has dropped a ton of weight, some of it looks flattering, such as around her face (he never realized that her cheekbones were so strong) and in other places it is strange (there is no meat whatsoever around her wrists or ankles). But she is still his Erin, she has never changed. Even now in this girl that he finds plain and beautiful all at once, she is the same child she once was with the sharp elbows and braided pigtails.

He goes to the door and, without hesitation, steps passed the mutilated bits of Phil in the hallway. The blood is only slightly sticky against the bottom of his shoe, and otherwise provides no resistance as he slowly makes his way downstairs.

He goes very slowly, even when he opens the door and walks down their neighborhood street. The way that he is holding her, he can feel her heartbeat steady and strong against his chest. He really likes her heart; it is true and loyal and far too large for its own good. It is a shame that it must stop beating soon.

Grayson's footsteps make imprints on the snowy road. Around him, he is dimly aware of falling flurries. They crash into Erin, melting on her face and sitting like stars in her hair. She occasionally twitches when one lands on her exposed skin, but otherwise she stays asleep. It is best this way, Grayson thinks. I can apologize later.

It is far too soon when they come upon their destination. It is a little road bridge that spans across the pathetic river that runs the length of Cidson. The river is mostly frozen this time of year, with lazy currents battering about the icy surface. Grayson finds the little pedestrian bridge that runs along the railing and sits on a snowy bench there. He pulls Erin onto his lap and tries to summon up his courage. The sooner it is done, the sooner she will forgive him. The sooner he will forgive himself.

When he killed Phil he had avoided the older man's eyes. Grayson refused to look at Phil even as his hands were covered blood and a knife was twisting in the other's gut.

But Erin is most definitely not Phil. She will not get treated like that. Erin deserves better. He will hold her hand and watch her face. He owes her that much and so much more.

Grayson realizes that he is crying. Hot tears are slipping down his cheeks and it suddenly becomes difficult to breathe through his nose. He knew it would be hard, but he did not think that it would be this hard.

One of his tears drips off of the tip of his nose and lands on Erin's eyelid. Her eyes flicker open, causing Grayson's heart to sink. Of course she would wake up. Of course.

"Grayson?" She sounds tired and confused, but not angry. "Are you crying?"

"It's just hard to leave, that's all," he says thickly. His hands are shaking as he sits Erin up in his lap. He points towards the water. "Let's go look."

Erin gives him a strange look, hearing how the sadness thickens his voice, but she humors him and walks towards the water. Grayson thinks of how beautiful she looks, how alive and yet how ghostly at the same time. The snow is so fine that it is like dust as it blows around her form.

She goes to the water and stands there looking. "It's creepy and yet pretty."

Grayson slides the gun from his pocket.

Romeo and Juliet, he thinks.

He comes up behind her and wraps a single arm around her waist. She leans back into him and he inhales the lavender in her hair. Her heartbeat flutters against his arm. She suddenly seems to realize that he is bare armed.

"Are you crazy?" She suddenly turns on him. "You're going to catch your death out here."

He cringes at her choice of words and watches as her eyes slowly travel to the gun in his hand. Erin's eyes widen as she realizes what is about to happen.

He is crying again. The gun is slippery in his hand and he can see the betrayal sketched in her eyes. She will never forgive him.

But still he has to have her. Grayson takes a deep breath and holds the gun up so that she can see it clearly. "Maria should have died with Tony,"