A Tear for Taylor Mayfair

VI

"Their doing an x ray on her leg now," Fenton says with fear. He plays with his fingers nervously. We are standing in the waiting room of Saratoga Regional Hospital. Alice is standing in the corner on her phone. Shes smiling alot and blushing like a middle school girl. She hasn't even look in the direction of use when we walked in. Jordan drove me here in Clares car since Fenton took Jordans. I pretty much cried the whole way here. I called my dad and he's on his way.

"Is she going to be okay, will she be able to ride?" I ask not being able to contain myself. I feel really selfish asking that question. It makes me seem like all I care about is that she can ride in the competition. That not exactly the case. I want her to compete because horse riding is her life.

"I don't know," Fenton gives me a worried look. I know he's not trying to give me bad news but that is all that he has right now. Jordan takes my hand in his.

"Let's go to the cafeteria and get you some water," Jordan starts to lead me away. I don't resist, I really do need some water right now. Before I leave the waiting room I look over at Alice and see that she is still on her phone. At least she's here I guess. Would it kill her to just show or have a little emotion for her daughter that's in the hospital.

We walk into the cafeteria and see that there aren't that many people here. There some lunch ladies and an old couple sitting together looking all cute. Jordan goes up to one lunch lady and asks for two bottles of  waters. The lunch lady is older and is wearing all white and a hair net. Before Jordan can reach for his wallet I pull out two dollars and hand it to her.

"I was gonna pay," Jordan sighs. He looks at me in defeat.

"You paid last time," I say feeling a little bit better. I take the water bottles out of her hand. I hand one to Jordan and we walk to sit down. We sit down on the other side of the cafeteria away from everyone. We pull up these metal chairs and sit across from each other.

"You okay?" Jordan asks opening his water bottle.

"Yeah, I just hope she's okay"

"You know what happens if she can't ride, right?" I sigh. I know what he means and I don't like it. After I calm down a little bit we go back to the waiting room. Now I see that my father in standing in the middle of the waiting room. He's tall and buff, wearing a pair of blue jeans with a button up shirt. His big black frames sit on the bridge of his nose. He's on the phone talking to someone calmly. He notices us walking towards us and hangs up the phone.

"Hey, guys," my father's low voice is sympathetic. He probably knows how upset I was. Not that Jordan would tell him it's that he knows me that well. He reaches out and touches my arm and rubs it up and down. "Are you okay?" My dad has never been really good at the whole comforting thing.

I nod. "Yeah, i'm fine". I really don't want him to worry about me. He has enough to worry about then to make sure I'm okay. He pulls me into a hug. His huge arms wrap around me. I try and not cry from his sudden gesture. He pulls away after a moment.

"I need to talk to Clare's mother," he nods at Jordan and walks away. Clares mom is kinda just staring at my dad in mesmerization. Everyone knows that she has a crush on him but in my father's words. 'I won't date a skank' I never told Clare about that conversation tho. Jordan tugs on my hand and head towards the chairs. We sit down next to each other on a long couch on the far side wall. We sit really close to each other. He moves on my legs to lay over top of  his. I lay my head on his shoulder. I take my hand in his and sigh.

"I really hope she will be okay". My voice comes out broken and cracked. I didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"She will be"

**

"Cooper," someone's loud masculine voice booms through my ears. My eyes open wide and look up to see a middle-aged doctor in a blinding white coat. I let go of whoever's hand I'm holding and get up fast. I walk over to the doctor for the news. I feel Jordan stand next to me. My dad comes rushing from the other side of the room and Clares mom is nowhere to be found. "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that she did not suffer any head injuries. But the bad news is that her leg is broken pretty bad. Her leg was broken in five places and will have to be on crutches for a month or two"

I let the words sink in. I feel so bad. I can't help but think this is my fault. I should have said something I should have screamed and told her she was doing it wrong. If I screamed then she could have slowed down before she could fall off. The guilt inches in me like a slow virus. What am I going to do? How am I going to face her? I feel a hand slip into mine. I don't pay attention to it at all.

The doctor gestures us down the hallway of doors. I walk slowly behind him holding, who I'm guessing is, Jordan's hand. The doctor comes to a stop in front of a white door with a window. The window is covered with light blue blinds so you can't see inside. I take a deep breath as the doctor opens the door. In the bed I see Clare sitting up straight. Her blond hair is laying on her shoulders. Her face is pale and her lips are bright red. She holds a water bottle up to her lips when she sees us.

"Hey," Clare's voice comes out innocent and weak. A small smile creeps on her face as if she knows what I'm thinking. Standing next to her bed is Fenton looking beat up and worried. I look back at Clare and the look on her face make be want to cry. She doesn't have a certain look it's just that when I look at her I feel guilty.

I walk quickly over to her. "God, Clare. I'm so sorry this is all my faul-" I'm cut off by Clare hand that covers my mouth.

"Tay, it's not your fault. Okay, I was the one riding the horse. You have taught me well enough to know that there was something wrong." Clare removes her hand from my mouth. "It was not your fault"

Tears fall from my eyes. I take Clare and pull her into a hug. She doesn't reject as she wraps her arms around be. Her words sink in. A huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders. I let out a breath of relief. I pull away and look at her with concern

"Wh- what about the competition," I already know the answer. But I want her to say it out loud so I know the truth. I need to hear it to make it real. I have a little bit of hope that she will say something that I'm not thinking.

"You can do it Taylor," I suck in breath between my teeth. She takes my hand in hers and squeezes tight. "Taylor, you are better at riding than any of us, all you need is confidence. I know you have really bad anxiety but you can do this. You have to think that this is not as bad as it is in your head. Relax and enjoy the fact that you get a shot to prove all those people wrong. Like Quinn and Lara." Shes right. She's always right. I'm gonna need to do this whether I like it or not. I feel my fathers hands on my shoulders and I relax a little. "If you don't do this for yourself, then do this for me."

Those were the only words that she needed to say to get me to agree. I would do anything for her, and if it means that I have to do this competition for her than I will.

"Okay, I'll do it"