No Expectations

Chapter Eighteen

Stephen

Emilia shut the door behind her. I had to hold myself back from running out into the hallway after her. Leaving now would be too obvious, so I needed to stay until the ball dropped. This entire night felt risky and fun. Teasing, watching, controlling myself. Knowing she'll make her way to my apartment later, so I can fulfill the promises I'd made over the phone on my drive home.

Pulling out my cell phone, I let her know when I'd come down. She responded with a Can't wait! followed by a bunch of smiley faces.

Once I put my phone back in my pocket, Karen was glaring again. She'd been glaring at me all night. Was I not paying enough attention to her little friend? "What's your problem?" I hissed.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough," she spat right back at me. My eyebrow rose as I tried to think back on what I could have possibly done to piss her off.

Zach took the seat next to me with a plate full of food, also oblivious to Karen's newfound attitude. So typical of my baby sister to ruin a good night by finding some crap to get angry with me about.

Kevin chatted on with his friend Paul. Emilia's suitor, Cam, seemed particularly hostile toward me between his text messages. He was the one she'd complained to me about that first night we talked. I could tell after only ten minutes of standing out on the balcony with them. Their dads kept making comments to him about asking her out. They'd say, "Oh, she'll come around, son," when he'd made reference to her previous rejections.

He was an alright kid. A little moody, but still alright. Wasn't too different from how I was when I was fresh of out high school. They actually would make a nice couple. Why didn't Emilia want to date him? He was her age. He was a good-looking kid. He went to college and had a close relationship with his parents. Why the hell would she rather be with an old man like me?

Ignoring my insecurities, I joined in as they watched the ball drop. Emilia's parents kissed. My sister and her boyfriend kissed. Paul and his wife kissed. Amy kissed my cheek and I took that as my cue to leave. "It's been nice to meet everyone," I said at the door. "Hopefully, I can see you all around."

Kevin shook my hand. Great host. "Sure thing, Steve. Good to meet you, man." He patted my shoulder as I opened the door and snuck out.

Emilia texted me she was coming back from her walk with the dogs, so I rushed downstairs and got ready. I couldn't wait to prove to her how much I'd missed her over the last few days. How much I appreciated her infatuation with me. How much I valued her.

There was a knock at the door a little too quick to be Emilia. I checked the peephole, and Karen was standing in the hallway with her arms crossed. Shit, I guess we had to do this now. Emilia wanted to keep things secret, but I had no issues letting people know about us. I wanted to put confessions off until she was ready, but it was looking like I'd have to do it alone.

I threw the door open. She glared at me for the millionth time tonight. "What's your problem?" I asked, finally fed up with her attitude.

She started laughing. Not in a 'ha ha' way, but in an 'I've lost my mind' way. It was hysterical and a little frightening. "What's my problem? You're dating a fucking child, Stephen. Forgot to mention that to me?" She stomped into my apartment, knocking shoulders with me as she passed.

I froze at the door, unable to take a breath. How dare she ruin this shit for me? Turning on her, I slammed the door. She leaned against the couch with her arms still crossed, waiting for an explanation. Too bad she didn't deserve one. "She's not a child. She's eighteen years old, sis."

She laughed again. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. "Eighteen is still pretty young. She can't even drink yet. She can't even rent a goddamn car in most states."

I smirked at the one, finding an opening to annoy her. "Okay, like she would ever need to if she's with me."

She blinked, not impressed by my attempt to lighten the mood a bit. "Not the point I'm making! So not the point! She's a fucking kid." Her eyes widened. "Please tell me she wasn't a virgin when-"

My face scrunched up in disgust. "What? No! She was plenty experienced."

"So she's a slut then."

I blinked. "What? No!" She was pissing me off. "I can't believe you're judging me like this. You wanted me to date somebody. Now I am, and I'm actually pretty serious about it, but you suddenly have a problem with that."

She shook her head in disbelief. "You're serious about her? What the fuck is wrong with you? I wanted you to date someone your own age, Stephen. Not a little girl."

I groaned loudly, running my hand through my hair. "She's not a little girl. Jesus, you're making this sound all disgusting and wrong. She's an adult. She's a woman."

Her eyes narrowed as I watched her fucked up brain conjure some mean bullshit she was about to throw my way. "Oh, I bet she makes you feel real good, Stephen. I bet you barely have to try, and she's getting down on her knees, trying to please you." She cackled again. "Open your eyes. She's gonna grow up. She's gonna grow out of it and realize how creepy and inappropriate this is."

A pause. That one hit me right in the gut. I looked away from her. I was four years away from forty when Emilia would graduate from college. Would she still look at me with sparkling eyes when I grayed? Would she want to settle down with someone who'd be too old to run around with her kids in a few years? It was creepy and wrong. Why did it feel so right? "Yeah. Maybe."

Her face softened as she realized she crossed the line. She was cautious as she stepped closer. "Look, Stephen. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." She shook her head. "I'm just worried."

I slumped past her to my couch. "No, you're right." Running my fingers through my hair, I let out a heavy sigh. "Emilia's still young and beautiful. She has all these opportunities laid out in front of her. I'm taking advantage, but it's hard to stay away. It's hard to let her go. She makes me feel things I've never felt before."

Karen sighed too and slouched down next to me. Her eyes were clouded with confusion. She was a go-getter. She always knew what to say or do, but she was stumped. "How does one fall in love with an eighteen-year-old? I mean, how'd you even meet? What do you talk about? Why do you like her so much?"

I shrugged. "She actually did walk Charlie for me while you were away. We started talking a few weeks ago. Nothing more than neighbors. One evening, she came into my apartment, and things kind of happened from there. I don't know. I didn't expect any of this to happen or for me to feel this way, but it did, and I do."

She nodded with understanding. "She's so young, Stephen. She still has a lot of growing up and maturing to do before she'd ever be ready for anything really serious." I nodded at her concern. I knew those things. I just didn't want to acknowledge them. "Also, what about Layla? She'd get attached to her, and then when Emilia realizes you're an old fart and wants out, what then?"

Shaking my head, I let out a heavy sigh then leaned back on the couch. "I don't know. Can't I like her, and have that be the end of it?"

Shaking her head, she gave a weak smile. "That can't be the end of it. It's more than liking each other. It's..." she fades off before blinking away a few tears, "Just don't mess around with her, okay? No taking advantage of her innocence. I saw the way she was looking at you upstairs, and it wasn't good. She was looking at you like I don't know what, but it would break her if you changed her mind about her."

I shook my head. "I won't. I want to be with her. I want to be out in the open. I don't care what others think. And, if you didn't notice, I was looking at her too like 'I don't know what.'"

Karen smiled at that. She opened her mouth to say something else, but then there was a familiar knock. Her eyes shifted to the door. "That's her, huh?" I nodded. She let out a sigh. "Well, I guess you better let her in."