Hidden thoughts and deadly feelings

Truthful

I just want to cry.......
I'm screaming inside
I just want someone to stop ignoring the fact that I'm drowning! They watch me sink out of sight.....they're just relieved that they're not me....I'm crying out for help.....no one notices....they see the tears and pretend they don't....they tie weights to me with they're heartless comments....and watch me make marks on what used to be pure.... they pretend to believe my fake smile and giggles
They laugh at my jokes about myself...but know inside that there is truth behind them....Their words tie the noose around my neck....put the gun up to my temple .....and put the knife to my wrists....put the pills in my mouth....they're words cut deeper than my knives I dragged across my skin.....everyone wants me to a cute little lap dog.....to bark when told....to do little tricks for their entertainment....but I'm not good enough.....I resisted that's what got me here.....stuck in this stupid rut.....this is my cry for help....please someone notice my pain.....see through my mask.....tell me that you know I'm not okay......