Why do I do this to myself? Am I doing it to feel something. Am I doing it to stop me from crying again. I'm really tired of play the part so here's where I pick up the pen. Start writing cause honestly my other coping mechanism is violent towards my own body. I'm so sorry that the thick red blood dripping down my hand is how I feel peace. Probably because I feel like I deserve all of the pain. Because if you don't stay in the lane then you don't fit in. I know I've sinned, but is this still right? Am allowed to fight for another thing I want? Am I allowed want? Am I allowed to feel love? Am I allowed to be anything more than a second choice? Am I just supposed to be a rebound just there to drown out the noise? Will I ever been anything worth stay for? I wonder if digging the knife deeper is the only way I'll ever be able to tolerate the feelings I just can't ignore.
YOU ARE READING
Hidden thoughts and deadly feelings
AcakI just want a place to share my thoughts. Please don't judge. I'm going through a rough patch.
