Totally Not Me ( 1D/ N.H. / Niall Horan)

Chapter 5

I keep checking my phone and the minutes seem to move at a snail's pace. It's only 12:00! Ugh! I begin to pace...like that's going to make the time go by faster!

"Jana, why don't you see what's around there to eat?" My dad suggests trying to help me take my mind off of the clock. Maybe he's right and I should check out restaurants so Niall and I can talk more on his lunch break.

I only have a small window with him. I just hope he has an open mind and is a good listener because I've got quite the explanation for him. He could very well laugh in my face and think I'm mad. Either way, I hope I can just be me out here.

I find a pizza place a few doors down from the music store. Who doesn't like pizza?!

"Are you ready to go?" My dad asks.

I look at the time on my phone. 12:40?! That distraction really helped. I climb into the car and my dad drives me over.

We arrive with five minutes to spare. I make my way over to a bench not far from the music store and play on my phone until a catch a pair of white high top Nike's make their way into my peripheral vision. I look up to see those Nike's attached to Niall.

"Wey hey!" He smiles.

"Hi." I answer and smile back. I continue, "What are your thoughts on pizza? There's a place close to here."

"My thoughts are always on Italian food. Sounds good." He sarcastically answers.

We walk a handful of steps to the pizza place. As we open the door, the smell of garlic and tomato sauce fill my nose and my stomach growls in response. We settle on an extra large pepperoni pizza, breadsticks, and mozzarella sticks. I grab a table while Niall fills our sodas.

He sits across from me at the booth and begins, "You really shouldn't have paid for lunch. I said I accepted your apology."

"I owe you an explanation. I'm just not sure if you would even believe me if I told you." I say. How do I exactly explain my situation?

"Try me." He slightly grins and takes a sip of his drink.

Can I trust him to keep what I am about to tell him to himself? He's probably gonna think I'm a psycho that's starving for attention.

I let out a sigh and try to gather my thoughts. No one knows this full story...only bits and pieces. If I spill it all, he'll have me committed to a looney bin for sure!

He starts it off, "Let's start with the whole name thing. What should I be calling you?"

"Cailin is fine. That's what I answer to at school and stuff. Jana is what my dad calls me. Although, after the way I treated you this week, I'm sure you called me 'bitch'." I answer.

He was in mid sip of his drink and about spits it across the table at me. He quickly covers his mouth to stop it from happening.

I smirk, "I'll take that as a yes. I deserved it."

He coughs and slightly chuckles, "Since we're being brutally honest, yes I did...but only like 3 times."

Our breadsticks and mozzarella sticks make it to the table. We both dig in like we haven't eaten in a week. I know I should "eat like a lady" but I'm starving and looking at the way this kid is packing away the food, it's every person for themselves!

"What's with the drastic fashion change?" He waves his hand towards me up and down after coming up for air between his third and fourth helping.

"Well," I look down at my clothes and back up at him. "This is me. The real me. If I could dress the way I wanted to, this would be it."

A confused look passes over his face as he stops chewing for a second and attempts to process what I just said. He swallows and asks, "Ok. That barely made sense. Don't you dress yourself every day?"

"Of course I do!"

Our pizza shows up and we are distracted for a moment while we dig in.

"Then, why do you look and act completely different at school?" He asks.

And there is the loaded question. How do I tiptoe around this one? Do I want to tiptoe around it?

"That's where it gets complicated." I begin.

"This should be good." He responds and gets comfortable to give me his undivided attention.

"My parents are divorced. My mom remarried over the summer. She was after one thing...stability. So, before you ask, yes, she married for money. My step brother is Brent. He's been an only child, spoiled rotten, and insists on having everything his way...and he gets it. In divorce court, it was ordered that I live with my mom and see my dad every other weekend. Living under the same roof with Brent comes with a price. I cannot embarrass him. That includes how I dress, who I talk to, and what circle of friends I have. My mom is up my ass to make sure I don't piss off or embarrass him or else it might ruin "our stability". Basically, if I can survive Brent's senior year, I'm golden." I look up from my plate to notice Niall staring at me with his face frozen in mid chew. Oh dear lord! He thinks I'm mad!

After a minute or two, he begins to chew slowly. I can't begin to imagine the thoughts running through his head right now.

"Are you being fucking serious right now? He finally breaks the awkward silence.

"Yes." I nod. "That girl at school is so totally not me."

"Wow. I can't begin to wrap my head around all of that. I was looking forward to an explanation but I never in a million years would have seen THAT coming."

"Is that a bad thing?" I have to know. How do I take that? He's gotta think I'm making this crap up. I mean it sounds like it's a page out of a fan fiction. This is my life. God! I hope he's cool about this. I really can't handle my world to come crashing down...not again.

A/N- "...world come crashing down" AGAIN? I wonder what that could mean! :) Just reached my first 100 readers on this story. Wow! Thank you soooooo much! Please vote, share, and/or comment. As always, thank you so much for reading!!! <3 :)