ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

04

-JAYCE-
"You are crazy." Royce comments while I'm getting my hair done. I just roll my eyes without pressing any emotions out. Twitching with my shoulders while watching myself in the mirror getting dreadlocks.

"It will look like shit." Nathan continues as he looks at his phone in his hands in despair as if he's waiting for something.

"You both get on my nerves ever since I'm back." I claim and Royce laughed about it. I seriously don't get why they laugh all the damn time about whatever I say. I'm not saying anything funny so they should stop laughing about it.

"Nate is being annoying because his girl is ignoring him." Royce hits my shoulder, his answer making me frown. His girl?

"You have a girlfriend?" I ask while looking at him through the mirror. He glares over to Royce with hateful eyes then nods forcefully. Why didn't he tell me?

"Why didn't anyone tell me? It has been a week since I'm back." I determine. Both of them just look at each other, sharing a look as if they hide a huge secret but I'm too lazy to get angry about it. I just want to get some rest.

"I didn't plan to tell you because.. you know.." he starts, expecting me to get it but my head is literally empty. Thinking back to the episode of the Simpsons where they show what's inside of Homer's head; a monkey. That's how I'm feeling 24/7.

"Never mind." He disclaims and stood up to leave.

"What? No, tell me. I wanna know now."

"I don't know myself, bro. I didn't want to tell you anything because I was scared it will remind you of Sophia and you go back to shit." He lifts his hands up in the air then going frustratedly through his light brown hair.

My heart stopped beating for a second because I didn't hear her name said in while now. I sniffed, licking over my lips and started to laugh. He doesn't have to do anything in fear that it'd remind me of her; I think about her anyway.

"Sophia?" I ask amused without feeling any pain as Nate nods, "Don't worry, bro. She's dead to me." With that I closed my eyes and relaxed until my hair was done.

She's fucking dead to me.

After waiting for Jason all damn day he finally arrived. I immediately stood up, dress in my leather jacket just to earn a confused look while he was watching me what I'm doing.

"Where are you going?" He points at me in confusion.

"Where are we going, you mean." I correct him, pulling him with me by his shoulder. He didn't fight but just followed me. When we were sitting inside the car I waited for him to start the engine.

"Where-"

"Mom. She still doesn't know I'm back and I can't wait any longer. Let me see her." I almost beg and he nods.

"You sure?"

"More than sure." I answer and he started to drive.

The car ride was silent. None of us said anything but it wasn't really an awkward silence. He knows that I don't want to talk about anything. As much as I'm telling myself that I don't care, he knows me. He knows me so damn well. He knows how much I miss my mom, Jamie and Jade. He knows, that it's killing me. He knows, how much I hate my life.

But there is one question I may never see myself.

"How is she doing, Jason?" I ask as I swallow nervously. Biting in my cheek while scratching my neck unobtrusively. I already imagine the red messy haired short girl, just like the pictures I got during the time I was in rehab. Her smile won't leave my head, neither her laugh.