Within Dreams [A Legolas love story]

An Emptying Hourglass

Warm, white mist shrouded my body, almost tangible but barely there.

And I knew where I was and who stood before me.

I spoke first. "It has been completed, this task that was set upon me so many moons ago."

The voice that answered was not that of Lórien, which is what I expected, but instead of his wife, Estë. Her gentle voice came through the air, simultaneously one with the mist and a separate entity.

"You have done well, my child, and it is due to your perseverance that no longer the ancient malice of Sauron can tarnish Middle-earth. I know you have suffered on the road, and have earned rest. As you wake, all your hurts will cease to be."

"Thank you, gracious lady," I said, bowing my head in thanks.

"Now we turn to other matters," she said, almost with regret. "As you know, this is not your world... we opened a rift to bring you here, owing to your ability to overcome this evil both through courage and your origins."

My heart pounded in my ears; I had known as soon as I recognised where I was. I could not stay. I was to leave, I did not belong--

I had stopped paying attention and realized that Estë was still speaking.

"You were given time, time measured by our stars and not those of your world, marked by the stars you bear now. Because your task is over, your time is short."

As she ceased speaking, I tried to reply. "How-- how much time do I have?" My voice in my own ears seemed tired and pitiful.

"You have the power to decide that for yourself," she said, surprising me.

"What? How?" I asked, sure I had misheard. I became aware of another immense presence near me, and this time it was Manwë, Lord of the Wind, Sky, and all other Valar, who spoke.

"It has not escaped us that you have found a home here as much as in your own world," Manwë said, his deep voice gentle. "Though never done before, if you so choose, you will be allowed to stay."

"For how long?"

"For the rest of your life."

I knew I had misheard him-- there was no way that this was possible. Immediately, I tried to ignore my mind's images of Faewyn and I running through the trees or of Legolas smiling, instead speaking again. "But-- how? That cannot mean--" I broke off suddenly.

"It is as you think," the voice of Manwë said through the mist. "But there is a price. You cannot be of both worlds, and if you choose to stay, all memory of your presence in your world will fade. Your parents will be childless, your friends will not remember you, other events which you have impacted may not happen or change in nature. This is the condition, else the fabric of your existence be compromised."

"What if I choose to go back, what then?" I asked, my words hollow and resounding in the empty fullness of my surroundings.

"You will remain part of your own world, and will never return here again." Estë said gently.

My mind spun with thousands of thoughts I was in no fit state to attend to.

"May I--" I swallowed thickly, my throat dry. "May I consider both options for a time?"

"Of course," said Manwë gravely. "This is, I think, no easy decision to make."

"No," I whispered.

"By the next day of this name, you must choose, Gianna," came their voices again.

My dreams returned to scattered, hollow recollections of the day before, recalling again the blood and death that I had wrought.