Hi! My name is Rachel, I'm 17 years old, and I'm here because I want to tell you all a story. This is the story of the past few weeks of my life. Not many of you know, but I am sick. And in the beginning of May I was in the hospital.
My illness had progressed to a dangerous point and my doctors felt it would be better for me to be in professional care, surrounded specialists known for curing their patients. I stayed at that hospital for a total of six days, six whole days completely cut off from society, because the doctors thought it would be better if I could focus only on myself.
While I was there, I met other patients of similar age and similar diagnosis. They helped me and helped themselves, and I watched as they came and went. Eventually I got better, and I was set free. Now, there are still follow up appointments and medicines to take, but overall, it was a good experience, and I got the help I needed. I feel better now.
But what if I told you the little secrets I hold? What if I told you that the hospital I was staying in was actually a mental health hospital? Would that change anything? My illness isn't visible, you can't see it. You can't put my brain in a cast and wait for it to heal.
Roughly 5 in every 1000 people have the same disorder, so I know I'm not alone. It is a combination of anxiety, depression, mood disorders, and visual and auditory hallucinations. But I'm fine. It sounds scary, but I'm fine.
So why have I been hiding this for so long? Why was I so scared to talk about it? Mental health is so commonly talked about, but never really talked about. "Omg I have such anxiety over this test. They ran out of pizza, I'm so depressed." We hear it all over the place.
But does anybody know what it means to be in a manic state? Does anyone in here know the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack? I do. I had to learn on my own. Teachers never taught me, my parents never sat down and had the "mental health talk" with me. Everyone is so quiet about mental illnesses.
But why? What is so bad about being sick mentally? Compare a broken leg with depression. One is visible, the other is not. One can be seen on the outside, the other can only be seen on tests and screenings. But both are afflictions that need to be treated as such. One is not worse than the other.
What about suicide? People joke all the time about it. "Just kill yourself. I dropped my pencil, KMS. I wanna die lol." We all laugh, because it's funny, right? But when I heard it from the voice of a depressed, suicidal girl, only 14 years old, it wasn't funny anymore.
Bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, ED, SAD to name a few. Do you know them? Or do you just know the name? The stigma behind it? "Oh she says she's depressed, she's just emo. Oh he has anxiety, he must be a pussy." Why? Why judge? Why laugh? Why joke?
Where is the awareness? Where are the advocates? They all say the same things: "it's scary, it's something to be ashamed of, it's not polite to talk about." I say it's time to break that cycle. Let's learn more, let's teach more, let's talk more. Let's spread awareness and help people. It's time for a change. Stop telling kids that it's just hormones, stop telling them they're being dramatic. Help them. Help us.
And these ailments are all over the place, hiding in even the strongest people. A few in here are sick. I know you, I see you. It's hard, I know, but you're not alone. It's an uphill battle, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure you are validated and to make this world just a little bit better for all of us. Thank you.
