Double Crossed (Invader Zim)

Chapter 5

(Dib's P.O.V)

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My eyes wander once again to the cut down Zim's torso. So many times, I'd wanted to be the one who was responsible for it. Now, it almost made me sick.

"That's harsh," I say, rubbing my arms. I hadn't cleaned my wrists yet, so my palms come away bloody. "They didn't even say anything, or wait at all? They just... went for it?"

"Well, why wouldn't they?" Zim says bitterly. "I'm just a monster, aren't I?" His tone says that he doesn't care, but I can see the corners of his eyes wet. I don't think I've ever seen him cry before, so it's a bit unsettling.

"Is it cold up here too?" I ask.

"What?" Zim turns to face me, eyes still damp.

"You said my living room was cold," I explain. According to his story, this night was three weeks ago for him. Maybe in the heat of the moment he'd forgotten about the temperature he complained about.

"I guess it is," he mumbles, and I can tell he's still cautious. He keeps glancing at my wrist. He'd decided he could trust me after I'd gotten Zim- the other Zim, man this is confusing...- to cut my arm. They still hurt a little bit, but at least I don't have to worry about losing my throat in the middle of the night.

"I can get you a sweater to wear," I suggest, getting up to go to my closet.

"If I put it on, it will cease to exist in this time period, remember?" He isn't outright saying no, and his cheeks are a bit flushed.

"That's alright. I always wear this anyways," I say, gesturing to my black coat.

"That's filthy," Zim says. "Don't you ever wash it?"

I open my closet, which is full of copies of the coat. "I don't think I have to worry about that as often as you'd think," I joke, pushing the coats aside to reveal other clothes that I never wear. I grab a blue sweater, and toss it to Zim. "There. Put it on if you get cold," I say, smirking as he immediately pulls it over his arms and zips it up. Now that scar is hidden, at least. We still have to do something about his appearance. We can't exactly explain away bug eyes and antennae.

"I'm gonna go wash up. When Zim leaves I'll come back."

"Zim will ask you to stay until morning," he tells me. "I need somewhere to stay until then, if you would mind showing me where to go?"

Zim wants to stay at my house? Does he even sleep? What will he do while I'm sleeping, we can't just have him wandering around.

No, Zim is here now, so nothing bad happens. He'll probably just stay in here doing whatever it is Irkens do when it's dark out.

I realize all at once that I haven't answered Zim. "Oh, uh, you can stay in here. We can sleep in the living room," I suggest. It was the easiest solution.

"Alright."

The one word answer disappointed me. Nothing else? That's all he has to say? I walk away to hide my disappointment, opening the door to the bathroom and turning on the tap. I put my wrists under the flow, and the warm water stings the open cuts. I wince and grab a cloth to speed up the process. After dabbing the wounds dry, I wrap them in bandages, making my arms look mummy-like.

When I return downstairs, Zim looks at me. "Does it usually take humans this long to 'clean cuts'?" he asks, but looks concerned at the thick bandages on my arms.

"Yeah, usually," I lie. What was I going to tell him? 'Oh, yeah, by the way, there's another you upstairs in my bedroom waiting for you to leave'?

Without another word, I sit down next to Zim and stare blankly at the TV. I can't focus on the show anymore, so I let my thoughts consume me until the episode ends and Zim turns toward me. "I've been told that it is dangerous to be outside at this time," he begins. "Perhaps I should stay here until morning."

"Are you asking to stay the night?" I try my best to act surprised, even though Zim had already told me this would happen.

"What else would I be asking?" Zim rolls his eyes, as if my question was absurd. "I believe that I made myself quite clear."

"Well, okay. I'll go get some more blankets," I say, standing up.

"We sleep here?" Zim asks.

"Well, we aren't going to both sleep in my bed," I say, but it feels like I'm just trying to convince myself. Like I need any more reason to keep him out of my room than keeping the balance of space and time in order. Despite myself, I feel my cheeks get hot, and, for what feels like the millionth time today, I turn away to hide my face.

---

("Future" Zim's P.O.V)

My Pak gives me all the energy I need. Irkens don't need to eat or sleep like humans do. All the same, I'm quite bored as I wait for the morning, so I flop down on the Dib's bed and close my eyes. I can see why humans do this; it's rather comfortable, if not a waste of time. I don't 'fall asleep', though, because my mind is running with thousands of thoughts. I saw Dib hurt himself for me, which is saying something, since it takes forever for humans to heal compared to Irkens. But at the same time, having him help me could slow me down.

I look down at the sweater he gave me. The light blue is the same tone as my flushed skin. I heard one time that it was the small things that counted to humans. Dib had given up his sweater so that I could be warm. Definitely small, but definitely meaningful. Something about him makes me feel like I should trust him. He cares, even if he tries not to show it.

A strange feeling has consumed me. Not necessarily bad, but I can't help thinking that Dib has something to do with it.

Eh, I'll talk to him in the morning.

---

(Dib's P.O.V)

I can hear Zim's breathing slow next to me. I didn't think Irkens needed sleep. Maybe it was optional. He's sleeping on the couch, and I've huddled up with some blankets on the floor. Looking up at Zim, with his whole body covered in blankets, only his head showing, I smile a little bit. He's kind of adorable, actually. Ugh, why him? I was already an outcast; if people at skool find out that I'm gay for my enemy, it'll just make things worse.

But he's the only one who cares. He cares for me, at least. And we're both outcasts of our race. Zim would never believe it, but I know that he was sent here as an exile. He was never supposed to find Earth, it was all meant to make him disappear. It was just luck that he found a planet. And if he didn't find Earth, I'm not even sure I'd be here right now. He gave my life a purpose, even if I hated him for such a long time.

Still, what would he think if I told him how I feel? Would he even understand what it means? Irkens are just clones, so do they even feel love?

Again, it would've been so much easier if I'd grown attached to someone who I actually have a chance with. Though, technically, Zim is the only one who I have a chance with... Gah, why are human feelings so complex? Why couldn't I just have all of my feelings be an illusion created by a Pak?

I know that keeping my feelings to myself will probably hurt me more than help me, but what else am I supposed to do?

My eyelids grow heavy, and soon, I find myself asleep.