One-Shots

Gasoline {P}

Are you insane like me?
Been in pain like me?
Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?
Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?
Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?  

Phil Lester. 18. High school senior. Self-harming, suicidal teenager. Attempted suicide nine times. Punk.

"Phil, how many times do I need to tell you? You're too young to drink!" My step-prick calls from down the hall. 

He runs towards me. Knife in his hand. He cuts into my arm. It doesn't bother me anymore. I almost didn't feel it. 

Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?
Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?
Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?
Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?  

Dan Howell. 18. High school senior. Self-harming, suicidal teenager. Attempted suicide sixteen times. Pastel. 

"Hey Girl!" The popular kid, Alex, yells at me.

"For the last time, it's Dan."

And then I'm thrown to the floor. I feel them kicking my stomach. I feel blood after they leave. It isn't their fault they opened some cuts. 

And all the people say

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

I think there's a flaw in my code

These voices won't leave me alone

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

"Phil! Please don't!" I cry. 

"Leave me alone, Howell! You don't even know me!"

"Elementary." I say coldly.  

Are you deranged like me?
Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?  

Phil Lester. 17. Jail time for smoking on school property. Two days. Self-harmer who has attempted suicide seven times. 

"Phil, you didn't need to" Howell says after he paid off my bail. 

"Whatever, Howell."

and I swear I saw him smile. 

Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers 'cause you'll never take the blame like me?

Dan Howell. 17. Let Phil Lester take the two day jail time for "smoking" even though it was him. Self-harmer who has attempted suicide ten times. 

"Phil, that wasn't right." 

"Like a softie like you could survive in prison." 

and that was the first time I saw him smile in years.

And all the people say

"Phil, please! Trust me! Don't!" 

You can't wake up, this is not a dream

"Shut up, Howell! You don't control me!" 

You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

Thoughts ripped them apart faster than they ever should've. 

With your face all made up, living on a screen

If the punk never becomes pastel, who is he really? 

Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

Each of their lifes rested in the other's hands. 

I think there's a flaw in my code

If one of them wasn't strong enough, they'd both collapse. 

These voices won't leave me alone

"Phil! Stop!" I cry before a gunshot. 

There was no use stopping him. You know what they say: if you can't beat them, join them.

Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

Phil Lester. 18. High school senior. Self-harming, suicidal teenager. Attempted suicide ten times. Succeeded one. Punk. 

Dan Howell. 18. High school senior. Self-harming, suicidal teenager. Attempted suicide seventeen times. Succeeded one. Pastel.