The Buried Life

Chapter 17

Days went by following the events of the camp. Moving carefully from one spot to another the group didn't look at a map anymore to decide where to go next, they just kept going.

Without even realizing it they traveled all the way back to where it all started in the greatest city of the country. Danger an every constant threat to the young group of survivors they made their way into the city.

Two more miles to go but still seemed so far as the sun bore down on the backs of Jeremy and his friends. Most of the trip was in silence leaving nothing to the imagination of just how broken they all were.

If one could pinpoint the exact feeling they all shared it would be dread on such a beautiful day. Now isn't that ironic?

Jeremy fell behind the others not knowing what to say or do. When Hank died he became the leader of the group doing the best he can to keep everyone alive. He graciously failed in every category in his mind.

He knew it in his heart and the way his friends looked at him that he fucked it all up with no way of making it right. In his eighteen years of life Jeremy had no one to look to anymore for help. It was all up to him to be a man and live with the decisions he made,

But how could he be a man when no one has taught him what it means to be one? Jeremy stopped walking letting his friends walk further ahead of him.

"Maybe they would be better off without me," Jeremy thought to himself. "I've done so many things wrong I wouldn't be surprised if they hated me. I should just turn around and find somewhere else to go. Hopefully they find a place to call home in the big city."

He was about to turn around when a voice called his name. Jeremy looked back at his friends who seemed so small in the distance of the setting sun. He didn't answer but walked towards them not ready to talk.

Jeremy knew they were going to though as he caught up to them.

"What are you doing man?" Greg asked clearly annoyed.

"I was thinking about leaving you guys and going on my own alright," Jeremy admitted letting it all out and not wanting to hide anything.

"And why would you think about doing a stupid thing like that?"

"Why? What do you mean why? I fucked up Greg! Look at us there was thirty of us when it all went down and now there is only five. I've gotten so many of us killed and I didn't even realize it until it was too late."

"That's just how shit is man," Greg remarked bringing out his map. "Look we'll keep walking and-"

"And go where you dumb fuck!" Jeremy yelled feeling all the anger, sadness, and hate rise up and pool out of him. "Where do you want to go cause no matter what we do we're either ambushed by zombies wanting to tear us apart or attacked by fucking psychopaths wanting nothing more than to take our shit and leave us for dead!"

Before anyone could answer he insisted that they should all follow his example and just lie down in the middle of the road to let nature take its course on them. Jeremy was about to continue his rant when Sasha laid down to join him.

"None of this is your fault Jeremy," Sasha replied trying to comfort him. "You had no idea any of this would happen."

"Didn't I?" Jeremy said countering her response. "It was my idea to set up in the forest, and we lost Bridgette, Ashley, and Gretchen. It was my idea to bring Danny along on a run he never done before and he died trying to out run a group of zombies"

"We know that but-"

"But what? I had to put a bullet in his head to end his suffering. So please tell me that none of that was my fault either."